


Star Trek; but Gayer

by scarscarchurro



Series: Star Trek; but Gayer [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Acespec Jim, Alcohol, Arospec Jim, Arospec McCoy, Bigender McCoy, Demi-boy Spock, Everyone is Trans until proven otherwise, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Minor Character Death, Multi, POV Alternating, Past Uhura and Spock, Polyamory, Some Violence in later chapters, Trans Character, Trans Uhura, some swearing in later chapters, trans Jim, uhhhhhhh, what else...., you can rip blue eyed mccoy from my dead hands, you can rip hazel eyed jim from my dead hands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-09 23:04:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 32,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13491672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarscarchurro/pseuds/scarscarchurro
Summary: Gayer and I do Uhura justice.Mostly for my own entertainment and not for profit.((EDITED))





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Basically how this started was I was talking with my friends and I had the sudden urge to rewrite the entire 2009 movie over and make it gayer with more Uhura and more McCoy. 
> 
> Again for my own entertainment and the entertainment of my friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for Underage drinking or mentions of it. Mentions of eating disorders and mentions of Tarsus IV.

The Universe was tricky, vast, and unknown. 

It made sense that this mysterious universe would deprive Jim of a father. It made sense that this universe would bring him into a life where his mother looked back at him with sorrow. An echoing memory of Jim’s own birth. 

Jim didn’t hold those memories, the screaming wails, the destruction of his father, the destruction of the Kelvin, and a Doctor proudly proclaiming what sex the baby had been born. 

Memories Jim did hold were growing up and with a mother who buried those memories deep within. Hopeful that they'd never see the light of day. 

She tried, but as Jim grew older he wondered. He wondered if she was running away from the past. Taking odd jobs of extended space travels, moving in with their asshole of an uncle, calling a small cornfield town home, and he wondered if she was running away from them. 

Jim and his older brother Sam. 

Jim wasn’t a dumb kid, which was why he couldn’t blame his mother for taking those jobs, for going off into space, and leaving them with asshole. At the time he had blamed her. Wished she had stayed longer than a few weeks. 

She'd left them with Asshole and Asshole didn’t know how to raise kids. Didn't know how to raise Jim. Asshole couldn't stimulate the sharp mind of a growing child, let alone raise a kid with ADHD, and he certianlly didn't know how to quell the growing curiosity that stirred within an eleven year old. 

Jim’s eleventh birthday had been sad, they always were, but an old friend of his mother’s had given Jim paper books for his birthday. They were old and one had purple cornered pages. The books had been stimulating and Jim loved them. It was a sort of escape from Asshole.

Asshole’s idea of stimulating was “Wash my car.” Sam would proclaim it wasn’t even Asshole’s car. “Get me a beer.” Asshole drank like a fish. “Your mother ain’t here.” No Winona wasn’t there. Not often.

When Winona did come home it was great, loving, full of stimulating conversations about space, and even going out late at night with Sam and watching the stars from down in the towering corn fields. 

Winona looked happy when looking up at the night sky. She would encourage her children about stars, space, planets, but then there would be sadness. Words of how space was amazing and then the melencholy afterthought about how space could be entirly too dangerous. 

“Never join Starfleet.” Winona would tell them. “I don’t know what I’d do if something bad happened to you.” 

Jim was thirteen when Sam left. Asshole had been an asshole.

Sam had been fed up with being a Kirk in that house. 

Asshole had slammed the door after he had told Sam to leave and screamed at Jim to wash that car.

Jim grabbed Sam’s arm. “Please stay.”

Sam had looked down at him with a sheen over his eyes. “I can’t.” Sam never really used Jim’s name weather it was because he saw the discomfort it brought Jim or because he couldn’t bare to say it. “You’ll be fine, you’re always doing everything right,” said Sam and he ruffled Jim’s too long of hair. “Good grades always following the rules.” Sam shook his head and scoffed. “Show me how to do all that and I’ll stay.” 

Jim swallowed and frowned. He couldn’t say anything. 

Sam gave him a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll see ya, Jimmy.” 

Jim liked that nickname. Sam had made it up when he saw Jim trying to jimmy a lock. 

Sam had left and Jim found a different kind of escape from Asshole. Drive that old car down the roads with music blaring and the noise of a siren whirring behind him. Drive until the road ends. Drive fast. If a cliff came into vision? Drive off- He had jumped out, hands dragged for purchase in the Iowa dirt, and he pulled himself up from the cliff. 

The robocop had asked his name. Jim furrowed his brows and looked down at the ground. He had to think of a name, uncomfortable with his birthname, and wishing to find a new one. His mom's dad... what was his name? Then he needed a middle name right? A Kirk name. One passed down. George didn't fit. Samuel didn't fit. Grandpa Tiberius? James Tiberius? That was a name. Jim held up his head and squinted at the glare of the sun.. “James Tiberius Kirk.”

Asshole hadn’t been pleased, but Jim was just smiling. His heart pounding in his ears. It had been a thrill and he had a name for himself. One that made him feel complete. 

Winona had been the one to make the decision to send Jim to Tarsus IV. 

On Tarsus he was left with a lot of alone time, left with his thoughts, an empty stomach, and too many responseabilities to make sure his kids would live another day. 

The kids called him JT and he protected them with his life. He had started to feel spite toward Starfleet after Kodos had held the second round of executions. Food was scarce. Jim did everything to make sure the youngest of them got the fed and stayed safe. 

Tarsus left a nasty mark on Jim's mind. 

When Starfleet actually showed up there were nine of them left. They didn’t talk about Kodos. All except for Tom who had become obsessed with the topic. 

Winona did everything she could to help, but Tarsus never left him. 

Despite Tarsus and the overwhelmingly silent therapy sessions Jim actually did try to heal and recover in his own way. They weren’t the healthiest of ways, but he made due. 

He talked to his mother and she listened. Most times she wasn’t in the best of shape herself, but said they would work things out together. 

People started to assume he drank. “It’s what I would do,” said someone in the school hall when Jim had been fourteen. 

People assumed he had done other things that made Jim want to throw up on any given day. 

He never said he hadn’t done any of those things and even started to play along with smirks and comments.

It helped that he actually did slip into bars and get a drink when Tarsus plagued his mind. He hated bourbon and hated the burn of alcohol. 

Jim had a reputation by the time he was seventeen. At seventeen he got tired of his long hair, got tired of having to put on makeup, got tired of looking in the mirror at himself, and decided he’d chop off all his hair. It looked like any home done hair cut, uneven, choppy, but the spiky look made him feel good. People would say he looked like a boy and he liked it. 

By the time he was nineteen he was certain this was what he wanted. He changed his name and got a testosterone implant. 

Frank was still an asshole and Jim hated him, but his mother just held Jim close on the day Jim told her. “I have two boys.”

It was also the day he’d be leaving the farm house and moving into a small room above a flower shop.


	2. Bars and Beautiful men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim is excited and determined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bar fight!

Most of Jim’s rebellion died at the age of Twenty-one when drinking was now just a legal pastime and a doctor had finally cut the weights off his chest; however, Jim still had so much fight in him. Still had baggage that weighed heavily on his mind, and half the time he considered joining Starfleet. 

Though. Starfleet hadn’t done much for him at this point. It was still nice to entertain the thought of following in his parent's footsteps.

Plus Jim had hopes of not subjecting his mother to the thought of losing another loved one. Losing another Kirk. 

Starfleet could wait right? 

It must’ve been a sign that in a crowded local bar Jim would turn his head and spot the red uniform of Starfleet cadets. It just so happened the dark skinned woman wearing it was quite adorable. He walked over, tipsy enough to not register the drinks she was ordering, but aware enough to comment. It did seem like a lot of drinks. “Make that two shots on me.” He leaned on the bar top and smiled at her. “That's a lot of drinks.” Wasn't he just thinking that? Why did he say it? Tipsy Jim simply shrugged it off mentally and gave the woman a sly grin. 

The cadet turned in her chair and raised her brow at him. “I don't need you to buy me a drink,” she glared at him, then looked him up and down. “But I think I'll buy you those two shots.” She shared a glance with the bartender who nodded. 

Jim bit his lower lip. “You're completely right,” he pressed his lips together. “I apologize.” 

“Thank you,” She rolled her eyes a little. 

“I'm Jim Kirk,” Jim grinned and scooted closer, but respected a distance. He rolled his shoulders and pressed his hands together. “I couldn't help but notice you are quite adorable. Would you happen to have a name?” 

She looked at him and sighed. “Uhura.” 

“Any first name?” He raised his brow and grinned at her. 

Uhura shook her head and laughed a little. “Just Uhura to you.” She eyed him as if expecting something. 

Jim swallowed and rubbed a spot on his hand. “So, you're a Cadet, what is it you are wanting to get into?” He leaned in with a smile. “What are you studying?”

 

Uhura turned fully in her chair to give some attention to him. With a sly smile of her own she tilted her head. “Xenolinguistics. You have no idea what that means.” 

Kirk barely paused and his eyes lit up. “The study of alien languages, morphology, phonology, syntax.” 

Uhura’s eyes widened for a moment. 

Jim smirked. “It means you've got a talented tongue.” he chuckled, “But really that is talented.”

She rolled her eyes and smiled a little. “I'm impressed. I thought you were just going to be a dumb hick who only has sex with farm animals.” 

Kirk drew his eyebrows down and pulled his lips back. “Not only.” Jim gave a boisterous laugh. 

Uhura laughed with him. “You’re more than just a pretty face huh?”

Jim leaned into her with a grin.

Before he could say anything someone butted in, “Is this local bothering you, Uhura?”

Jim turned his head to see a beefy man in another red cadet uniform. 

“I can handle him.” Uhura turned in her seat to face the man. 

Tipsy Jim had no brain to mouth filter. As he shrugged his shoulders and turned his head to her. “If that is an invitation.” He did so much as waggle his brows and chuckled to show it was to tease. He knew she wasn't into him. Whether it was a feeling in his gut or the rising insecurities of his own brain.

Beefcake didn't seem to understand and in all honesty tipsy Jim probably deserved it. “You better mind your manners.” 

Kirk slid himself away from the bar top and squared his shoulders looking at the guy. “It was a joke, Cupcake, relax.” He ever so slightly touched the man’s shoulder and pushed. It wasn’t a hard push it was more like an extending of the fingers against the man’s shoulder that didn’t even really move him.

With his masculinity in trouble the beef cake snarled and turned attention to the other cadets in the bar. There were four of them and only one of Jim. “You want to start something, Farm Boy?”

Jim didn't want to start anything. He rolled his eyes. “Not man enough to take me on your own? You need friends?” Tipsy Jim; however, wanted a fight. 

Cupcake pushed Jim into another cadet who in turn pushed him back into Cupcake. 

Jim found his feet on solid ground for one moment and threw a punch. He soon found himself in Uhura’s breasts and squealed. He stumbled and stuttered with his words looking for the right way to apologize for touching her breasts without consent, but it came out as a string of noises that didn't sound appropriate. He then found himself bleeding from his face and flipped over onto a table groaning in pain. The cadets above him cheering and beating his wriggling body. 

“He wasn’t bothering me!” Uhura had shouted. “Stop it!” 

Jim assumed it was Uhura as his ears were ringing pretty bad and various places of his body were screaming in pain. He was ripped up by the front of his shirt and stared Cupcake directly in the eyes when a high whistle broke the noisy boxed in bar.

Admiral Pike stepped in and broke up the fight.

Cupcake dropped Jim like a rag doll back onto the table. 

Jim felt his guts churn and sink with a groan. It would be Pike. Would be the man he hasn’t seen in years.

The starfleet cadets left the bar with hushed whispers, Jim heard one of them call him a freak, and Pike helped Jim off the table. “You okay, Kid?”

Jim gripped at his hair. “I think my ears are bleeding from your whistling.” He sighed heavily and sat down at the table. 

Pike sat across from him. 

They both sigh again and relax their shoulders. “It's been a while. The bartender told me who you were and I just.. can't believe it.” 

Jim stared at Pike and brought his knee up onto the chair. “My eleventh birthday maybe?” Jim paused and shifted his head to the side. He’d been different back then. “You knew my dad.”

Pike shook his head with a knowing smile. “I admired him. He sure didn't believe in no win scenarios.” 

“Yeah... Well that got him killed.” Kirk ordered a drink to sip and swirl around. 

They sat in silence for a long moment. The drink had come and Jim slowly took sips. 

Pike rested his head in his hand and broke the quiet. “If you put it that way… but I'd like to think he lives on.” 

Jim laughed loudly. “Lives on?” 

Pike raised a brow and leaned in. “You're here aren't you?” 

Jim stopped laughing and hugged his knee close. Right. He lived under a legacy of a Captain who risked everything. Who missed every birthday, every occasion, and who lived with the thought of a different person to live his legacy. At least he still had Sam to live that legacy. Even if his older brother had split the planet despite Jim’s pleading. Despite Jim’s willingness to do anything to keep his brother. 

“That leap into action thinking is what Starfleet needs more of.” Pike leaned back a little.

Kirk glared at the Admiral. He made a noise between a scoff and a laugh. “Why tell me?” 

“Maybe you should enlist in Starfleet.” Pike raked his eyes over Jim’s frame and stopped at his eyes. “Your aptitude tests are off the charts and in four years you would be an officer; have your own ship in eight.” 

Jim laughed hard and pressed his lips together. With a slim grin he leaned over a little. “You guys must be down in your quota.” He wanted this. 

Pike narrowed his eyes. “Riverside Shipyard. Shuttles leave at o-eight hundred.” Pike raised from the seat and turned to leave. “Your father was a captain for twelve minutes and saved a lot of people. I dare you to do better.” Pike left. 

Jim cursed silently. He could never resist a dare. A deeper part of him smiled at the thought of making his own legacy as a Starfleet Captain. Of going to Starfleet. Of being more than George Samuel Kirk’s delinquent child.

He went home that night with a smile. He set an alarm for early in the morning and fell into bed with a stupid big grin. "I'm going to Starfleet Academy," He squealed and threw his pillow over his face. "This is so great!"

Jim showed up and made sure Pike knew it. He made a show of driving an old motorbike, giving it to a worker on the shipyard, and staring right at Pike. Challenging in a way with a big grin and a fire in his eyes. “I'll do it in three years.”

Jim then boarded the shuttlecraft, and shrank for a moment. He took a deep breath and looked for a place to sit. He smacked his head into a low bar and softly cursed; He waved at Cupcake and company, then he saw Uhura and smiled at her. 

Jim walked over and sat across from her. “I never did get that first name.” He laughed and chewed on his lower lip. It stun to do so and iron tickled his taste buds. 

She smiled at him and shook her head. “Nyota. Don’t believe anything else.” 

They shared a knowing look and a smile.

The voice of a female lieutenant caught Kirk’s attention. “You need a doctor,” said the woman.

Jim turned his head and frowned slightly. There was a slight man, he must have been a few inches shorter than Kirk with a fluffy mop of short brown hair and unruly facial hair. He wore civilian clothes and slurred his speech. “I don't need a doctor; I am a doctor. Please I have aviophobia. It's the fear of flying.” He was quite a handsome man and the lieutenant was dragging him right toward Kirk. 

“Sir, please take your seat.” the Lieutenant stood her ground. 

The person Kirk was now mentally calling Mr. Beautiful Eyes inhaled sharply and stood with his shoulders slumped. “I had one in the bathroom with no windows!” He flapped his hands about and frowned.

This continued for a few more moments before the man took the seat next to Kirk. After being threatened.

“I might throw up on you,” grumbled the man as he pulled out a flask. He took a long swig and motioned it toward Jim. 

Jim accepted a swig and handed it back to the man. He laughed a little and smiled softly at the stranger. “Wouldn't be the first time someone threw up on me.” He put his hand up and offered to give the stranger a comforting pat. “I'm sure it will be perfectly safe.” 

The man grumbled about how space is filled with death and disease. How if there were a crack in the hull of a ship that it would mean certain death. 

Jim retracted his hand and made a motion to get his seat belt on and help the stranger get his on. “I hate to say this… but Starfleet does involve going into space.” 

The man rolled his pretty blue eyes. “I haven't got much of a choice. My ex wife took the entire planet in the divorce and only left me with my bones.” He took another long swig of the flask. “She woulda taken those too if she had the chance.”

Kirk frowned and this time did pat the man. “I'm Jim Kirk.” 

The man stared at Kirk’s hand and then into Kirk’s eyes. “Leonard. Leonard McCoy.”


	3. Guess that's why we're roommates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and McCoy get an apartment. Ain't that Fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhhh There is some undressing in this chapter? like. TBH you can tell me to change the rating I'm not 100% sure what to rate this story you know.

When they landed at Starfleet Academy they had been assigned rooms and roommates; They let everyone know when orientation would be and even gave out those hideous red uniforms.

Jim felt fortunate that he had gotten McCoy as a roommate. Even though it seemed impossible due to what they were going into, but Jim had been bouncing on his toes since they had gotten the news.

While McCoy dragged his feet every step of the way to their shared space. “How are you so chipper?” asked Leonard as they approached the building.

“Well, Bones,” Kirk began swooshing open the door to their new place, “I had a really nice time talking to you on the shuttle.” Jim entered the two bedroom apartment, much less snug than the dorms, with Bones behind him. “You and Uhura were very stimulating to have conversations with.” Even if Bones had gagged multiple times, but never threw up.

Jim closed the doors and calmly entered the living space that would be theirs for their stay at the academy. “There’s a living area with a couch! And even a kitchen!” Jim jumped up and down.

Bones grunted and kicked off his shoes, threw his bag somewhere, and started to strip of his clothes. The jacket came off first.

Jim glanced at Bones and swallowed hard. “What are you doing?” He stilled, placed his feet flat on the ground, and gripped his hand. 

Bones pulled his shirt off over his head and looked over to Jim with a raised eyebrow. “What does it look like? I'm changing to take a nap.” He threw the shirt where he had thrown his jacket and bag. 

Jim felt mesmerized by the simple act. Until he noticed a bone jutting out. 

McCoy simply popped it back into place without a second thought. “Orientation isn't until tomorrow.” 

Jim flushed red and chewed his lower lip. “There uh… there is a bathroom.” 

“We are both men, Jim.” Bones rolled his eyes and dropped his pants. “Don’t be an infant.”

Jim stared for a millisecond. “Usually I get people to buy me a drink before they take their pants off in front of me.” He covered his eyes, but laughed.

Bones hooked his thumbs on the line of his briefs and stopped. “...Oh.” He made eye contact with Jim’s hand covered face.

Jim peeked through and blinked. He stared hard at McCoy and felt words bubble up in his throat. “Bones. I think we have some things to talk about if we are going to be living together for three years.”

Bones slipped his thumbs out of his undergarments, slowly grabbed his pants, and pulled them up on his hips where they stayed.

“Well, Jim.”

“Bones.”

They stare at one and other for a long moment.

Jim held his hands together and looked at Bones. “... I think we both have something we want to tell the other?” 

Bones stared at Jim. “You firs-” 

“I’m trans.” Jim went right to saying it and didn't wait for Bones to finish. 

Bones blinked and tilted his head slightly. “... So am I.”

They stared hard at one and other blinking fast. “What.”

“Bigender to be more correct, but trans.” 

Jim made a noise between a huh and a wow. “Guess we know why they made us roommates.”


	4. Feeling Sentimental

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard reflects on his time with Jim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *finger guns* I've edited this chapter and there are 
> 
> Mentions of alcoholism. Actual alcoholism. Some mentions of nudity. Mentions of Sex. Mentions of being uncomfortable with said sex. and Talk of sex from two adult characters

A week in Jim hadn’t been anything Leonard had expected out of him. The younger was studious, involved, energetic, and on occasion he’d been annoying. “You ever leave?” asked Leonard one day after an intensive physical training session courtesy of Starfleet’s Hell Week. He had found Jim was relaxing on the couch reading a purple paper book that looked worse for wear. 

Jim barely looked up from the book and said, “I take basic hand to hand at six in the morning. Basic Warp Design at nine, Tactical analysis- ” Jim could have simply said ‘Yes, I went to my extensive list of classes today.’

“-You even eat?” asked Leonard with a scowl. He fell onto the couch and he shoved his feet in Jim’s lap. 

Jim merely lifted up his arms and allowed this before clearing his throat. “I ate breakfast in the mess this morning?” 

There was something in the tone that made it sound like a question, and Leonard narrowed his eyes at the kid. “It is six o’ clock, Jim.”

Jim lifted his head up and folded the corner of the book. “Is it?” 

Leonard sat up and sighed. “Give me ten minutes.”   
...

Week two of being roommates left Leonard with more questions than answers. “I’m going out for drinks and pizza with Uhura, wanna come with?” asked Jim when he walked into the apartment one weekend. 

Leonard picked his head up from his xenobiology book. “Sure give me two minutes.” 

When they left the apartment after changing into civvies. Leonard looked to Jim. “So is Uhura your girlfriend?” he asked Jim with a raised brow. 

Jim laughed as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “We are friends, Bones.” Jim paused for a while.

Leonard raised one eyebrow. “With your reputation?” 

Jim stopped in his tracks, Leonard looked over his shoulder to see that the younger’s face had drooped, and he turned his head. “What reputation?” Jim’s brows were furrowed and his jaw tight. “I don’t even have…” 

Leonard stopped walking and frowned. “People talk, it’s probably just rumors,” said Leonard with furrowed brows. 

“Yeah I can tell you they are rumors,” snapped Jim as he stomped his feet forward. “I don’t even… I don’t know.”

Leonard looked at him and sighed. “You’re asexual?” 

They continued their walk off starfleet grounds. 

“Aceflux,” said Jim once they were a few blocks away from their destination. When they got to the door Jim held it open for Leonard. “And Demi-panromantic.”

Leonard put his hand on the door and motined for Jim to enter first. 

“Bones, I’m opening the door for you, you go first.” 

Leonard smirked just a little. “You know I’m Aroflux,” said Leonard when he took Jim up on the door holding. 

Jim slid into the place behind him and pointed over to where Uhura was waving them over, a red haired orion woman was sitting with her. “Arospec bros,” said Jim with a big grin. 

Leonard shook his head and sighed heavily. “Arospec bros?” 

They walked over to the table and Jim said, “Sorry for the wait ladies.” with a smile on his lips and his eyes lidded. “Who is this beautiful lady?” 

“Who is this delectable man?” purred the orion with a peek of her white teeth. 

Jim slid into the booth and sat next to her. “I’m Jim,” said Jim.

Leonard rolled his eyes and sat down with a sigh. “Nice to see you, Nyota.” 

“Good to see you, Leonard,” said Uhura with a smile. 

This became their free weekends.  
…

Week three hit far too fast. “Why are you taking engineering courses?” Leonard asked Jim one day. 

Jim looked up from his PADD and blinked. “It’s to keep my hands busy,” said Jim before he looked back down at the PADD. 

Leonard sat down on the couch and raised a brow. “Tell me about yourself, Jimbo.” 

“Jimbo?” Jim smirked and looked up at Leonard with sparkling eyes. “Is this because I call you Bones?” 

Leonard narrowed his eyes momentarily. “Yeah, now spill it, Jimbo.” 

Jim shrugged and said, “I’m from Iowa, My mom is Winona Kirk, and my brother is named George. I call him Sam though…” there is a long pause as Jim turned back down to the PADD. “You’ve got six years on me, Bones, I’m sure your stories are much more interesting.” 

Leonard frowned and thought about his dad, thought about his mother, a daughter he rarely got to talk to, and his ex wife. Leonard took in a sharp inhale. “I had a daughter with my ex-wife,” said Leonard after a pause. “And I’m from Georgia.” 

Jim didn’t push anything, and Leonard didn’t push back.   
…

Five months into their first year at starfleet Leonard was barely getting any sleep. He’d come out the night before to sleep on the couch. To find Jim there reading a book. “It Devours,” said Leonard as he read the colorful torn cover. “That any good?” He slid onto the couch and rested his feet against Jim’s thigh. His back against the armrest of the couch. 

Jim blinked at Leonard’s feet before flickering his eyes up to Leonard. “It’s from a twenty first century podcast,” said Jim.

Leonard lifted a brow up. “What’s the podcast about?” Of course Jim would like classical things. 

Jim furrowed his brows and shifted as he set the book down. “You wanna listen to it?”

Leonard blinked slowly and thought about it while he pressed his lips together. “Is a Vulcan’s heart where a human liver should be?” 

Jim furrowed his brows and tilted his head. “Is it?” 

Leonard blinked slow again. “I thought you’d know because I have that on a test later.”

“If it’s true is that a yes?” asked Jim with a smirk reserved for flirting. 

Leonard rolled his eyes, “I’ll let you know if I get it right on the test.” Leonard then stood back up and walked back to his room, but paused. “... You gonna get some sleep?” 

Jim didn’t reply and Leonard turned his head to see Jim blinking at him. 

“You gonna get some sleep, Jimbo?” Leonard asked again. 

Jim bit his lower lip. “Why aren’t you sleeping, Leonard?” 

Leonard blinked a few times. “Bed is too empty,” said Leonard with a pause. “Everything okay?” 

Jim stood up slowly from the couch and said, “You betcha.” There was a pause before Jim walked over. “Would it help to have someone to sleep with?” 

Leonard blinked and shrugged. “I snore,” he said as they walked into the room. 

Jim laughed, “Yeah I know you shake the entire apartment.” 

…

Month six of Starfleet brought the start of Jim’s disappearing acts. 

Leonard hadn’t seen Jim last night, and found himself worrying into the early hours of the morning. 

A soft knock on the door made him rush up from the couch and when he opened the door Jim was leaning against it, the smell of alcohol on his breath, and small tiny scratches all over his frame. “What the hell happened?” asked Leonard as he rushed Jim inside and set him in the kitchen. 

“I fell into a rose bush,” said Jim, slowly, sleepily, heavy limbed as Leonard collected a med kit and a few hypos. 

Leonard growled, “You should have gone to medical. I don’t have a regen here, Jim.” 

Jim whined low and threw his head back against a dining chair. “You know I don’t like medical, Bones.” 

Leonard scoffed. “Tough luck, Jimbo. Some of these are deep.” There was no way he fell into a rose bush. He sighed heavily but did the best with what he had on hand. 

They had gone to medical.   
… 

Near the end of the year it happened again. This time Jim had come to medical and asked for Leonard. “Rose bush?” Leonard asked with a brow. 

“Finnigan and Gary,” groaned Jim as he sat on the medical bed. 

Leonard felt his blood boil, “They still bothering you, Jimbo?” asked Leonard as he dealt with Jim’s worse blows. 

“I’m taking care of it, Bones.” 

Jim was a frequent visitor to medical when Leonard was on duty. Sometimes it was just to see when Leonard would be off.  
… 

The new year rolled around and Jim was sitting on the couch with his PADD in the living space. 

Leonard raised a brow at him. “What are you doing?” 

Jim had his tongue sticking out from between his lips and looked up at Leonard. “Hacking the database,” said Jim with a flick back down to the PADD. 

Leonard furrowed his brows and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Dammit Jim we talked about this-” 

“I’m just getting revenge on Finnigan,” said Jim, speedy, and tapping away at the PADD. “He changed our genders, Bones.” 

Leonard took in a deep breath, sat down on the couch, and slowly curled against Jim. “Why does he have a vendetta against you?”

Jim glanced over slowly and swallowed, “I may have slept with him? But it was disgusting and I didn’t like it, it wasn’t fun, and he asked to do it again and I rejected him.” Jim simply shrugged. “He’s been bugging me ever since.” 

Leonard frowned and slowly cuddled against the younger. “I’m sorry, Jim.” 

Jim shrugged again and finished what he was doing. “Wanna go out for Pizza with Uhura?” 

Leonard raised a brow. “You reading my mind?”

Jim grinned. “Maybe we will finally meet her mystery boyfriend.”

Later on Pike had found out about Jim hacking the database.  
…

It was the same as the year before. Jim disappeared. He didn’t come back in the middle of the night. He didn’t show up the next morning. 

Leonard saw Jim in their shared class. History. Jim smelled like alcohol and had blood shot eyes. “Where have you been?” asked Leonard as he sat next to Jim. 

Jim shrugged. 

The teacher of the class pulled up a holo image of a planet, Jim stiffened next to Leonard and inhaled a sharp breath as the teacher said, “Today we are talking about the tragedy of Tarsus IV and how ex Governor Kodos failed to contact Starfleet-” 

Jim was up and out of his seat in an instant. “Fuck you!” he screamed at the teacher, his breath came quick.

Leonard looked at Jim, blinked quickly, frowned, and gently reached up to touch his arm. “Jim-” 

“Mister Kirk-”

Jim shook his head, pulled back from Leonard, and looked at the teacher. “I’m not sitting through this shit.” and he left the room. 

Leonard stood up from his seat-

“Mister McCoy,” snapped the teacher. 

Leonard narrowed his eyes at the teacher and then he went after Jim. Even Leonard knew the history of Tarsus IV it wasn’t old history it happened nine years ago. Leonard looked for Jim for hours, and found the younger curled between some bookshelves in the library. There was a stack of pillows under him and Leonard raised his eyebrow. “This where you been sleeping for the past two days?” 

Jim lifted his head up and rubbed his face. 

Leonard sighed and sat down next to him. He didn’t say a word as he wrapped his arms around Jim and pulled him close. 

Later Leonard would learn Jim had been screaming at holograms at Tarsus IV and sleeping in the library with a Vulcan Professor. 

Jim just told him. “I was on Tarsus IV.”

Leonard once again didn’t pry into old wounds.   
…

It was Jim’s turn to be the sober one. Jim’s turn to watch his best friend six glasses deep into bourbon. Leonard didn’t even know how much he’d poured for himself. Just wanted to drown out all of his poor life choices and the memory of his father’s pleading.

It didn’t help he had also been in a considerable amount of pain that morning. 

“Did you take your hypo?” asked Jim, though Leonard was now on his seventh glass of the day, and all noise was becoming fuzzy to his ears. “Bones, did you take your hypo?” asked Jim again, his hand softly touching Leonard’s shoulder. 

Leonard looked at the hand and felt a heat in his chest. Jim was a good friend. “What hypo?” slurred Leonard with heavy eyes. 

Jim’s brows furrowed and Leonard frowned. He didn’t like seeing Jim like that. “The one that keeps your bones in their homes and helps with your pain.” 

Leonard released a sigh. “In the bathroom.” 

Jim nodded and walked off while Leonard downed the glass. 

He stopped drinking after his seventh and spent the rest of the day resting with Jim on the couch. “Didn’t you have classes today?” 

“Classes can wait, Bones. I let them know you were struggling with your chronic illness and they gave us time off.”

Leonard’s last thought was that Jim would make a great boyfriend. Not that Leonard had crushes.   
…  
Leonard brought Jim with him to Georgia on one of their Holiday breaks. Not that Leonard was all that religious when it boiled down to it. Leonard had gone to church when he was younger and always found it.. Boring. He’d been confirmed into the methodist religion at the age of fourteen, but the only remotely interesting thing about religion was the stories. Ultimately Leonard hadn’t set foot into a church since he had to attend a funeral. 

Before Christmas in Georgia Jim had asked Leonard if he wanted to come to Iowa.

“Why?” asked Leonard with a raised brow. 

“My mom is jewish,” said Jim. “And I don’t think I can face her for Hanukkah without backup.”

Leonard kept his brow raised and asked, “You’re jewish?” 

Jim rolled his eyes. “I told you my mother is, but I’ll still celebrate with her. Like you celebrate Christmas but aren’t a Christian.” 

Leonard narrowed his eyes and smirked, “Yeah I’ll come with, Darlin’.”

Leonard ignored the look Jim gave him, because that wasn’t a look friends gave each other.  
…

They were on the couch again in their underwear flipping through their PADDS. “Hey, so what is that podcast from the twenty first century?” asked Leonard with his leg resting on Jim’s hairy thigh. 

Jim looked up, blinked, and asked “I take it Vulcan’s hearts are where human livers should be?”

“Yeah,” said Leonard with a flick up of his eyes.

Jim grinned wide. “Welcome to Night Vale.” 

They listened to it while they studied.

…

They were studying again. Shirtless and pantless sharing the same PADD because Jim’s had lost his. “When are we going to need to know about Cryotubes?” 

Jim laughed and then paused. “I just noticed you don’t have surgical scars.” 

Leonard looked down at his chest then over to Jim and raised his brow. “My Pa was a doctor and healed them over with a regen.” 

Jim had furrowed his brows. “That’s a thing?”  
...

 

Year three rolled around slowly. Leonard had been working his ass off and Jim had taken up dating Galia. Now Jim had stated from the beginning that he wasn’t a monogamous guy, but with Jim’s track record of zero dates and one casual hookup? Leonard was certain Jim wasn’t the type to get involved casually with strangers even if he was monogamous. 

Though he was sure those hickies just above where Jim’s cadet uniform would cover weren’t from Galia. 

Jim had disappeared again and arrived early that morning with discolored fingers and the hickies. “The finger discoloration is from a shower,” said Jim casually as he snuggled into Leonard’s bed. 

“And the hickies?” asked Leonard with a raised brow as Jim clung to him like an octopus. 

Jim hadn’t said. 

Leonard had just been about to lay back down when Jim said, “I feel like I’m primarily in a state of sex repulsion.” 

Leonard blinked and placed a kiss on Jim’s head. “That’s alright, Jimbo. Galia isn’t forcing you to do something you don’t wanna is she?” 

Jim snuggled his wet head into Leonard’s chest. “I don’t know. I feel like I’m under an obligation to please her.” 

Leonard frowned and ran his fingers in Jim’s hair slowly. “Why do you feel like you have to please her?” 

Jim’s features furrowed and he wrapped his legs around Leonard’s. “She likes sex and I just feel so uncomfortable with her, Bones. I feel like she isn’t as open about it? Not that I need to know every detail of her sex life? I just… feel like she might not be telling me about other partners? Which again it’s her sex life and it’s not like we do a lot? Just-” Jim groaned and dug his chin into Leonard’s breast bone. “Tell me about your day?” 

Leonard did. He talked about his shift. Went on to talk about how a Vulcan had come into medical only to have nothing wrong with him, but Leonard heard the soft snores. 

Jim had fallen asleep.

...

Leonard and Jim went their separate ways when their alarms sounded, Jim off to spar, Leonard off to medical to whip up some more of his hypos, and then they met back up after one of their shared classes.

Leonard was right about the hickies being just above where Jim’s collar would cover. A darkening contrast to the glow of his skin and hair in the afternoon sunlight. 

Jim was smiling as he and Leonard walked hip to hip out onto the concrete sidewalks. 

Maybe they could get lunch in the mess, but Leonard sighed. “You look chipper,” said Leonard to Jim. 

Jim had blinked a few times, his footfalls stopped, and so did Leonard. “I think I’m going to take the test again,” said Jim. 

Leonard stared at him for a solid minute, silent, and judgmental. “Jim,” said Leonard putting a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “No one goes back for seconds let alone thirds of the Kobayashi Maru.” 

Jim furrowed his brows and chewed on the chapped skin on his lower lip.

That act alone made Leonard’s heart beat against his chest.. “The test is unwinnable.”

Jim rocked forward onto his toes, bounced twice, dragged his top teeth against the skin there, and looked into Leonard’s eyes. “There has to be a way.” 

Leonard bracketed Jim with his arms.

Jim leaned forward with a small thin pout. “No test is unwinnable.” Jim pressed his lips together and leaned back in Leonard’s hold. “I’m doing it tomorrow morning and I'd really like for you to be there.” Jim smiled.

Leonard’s heart squeezed. He debated on saying no that he wouldn’t show up and he wouldn’t aid his friend in taking this test for the third time. 

Then Jim just looked at him with big hazel eyes, a wrinkled nose, and an irresistible half smile. 

Leonard narrowed his eyes, sighed heavily, and dropped his arms to his sides. “Uhura is going to love you,” said Leonard, low and slow. Then with a hip jutting out he said, “Fine.”

That half smile turned into a full blown eye squinting grin as Jim wrapped his arms around Leonard’s shoulders and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “She is our friend, Bones. No matter how much of a pain in the ass I am.” Jim vibrated and nuzzled his face into Leonard’s. 

Leonard inhaled sharply, his ears burned hot, and he flushed red. 

Jim pulled back with that same big grin as he patted Leonard’s chest. “I have to go study, Bones,” said Jim, matter o’ factly, with the arrogance of a twenty five year old. 

Leonard raised one eyebrow and rolled his eyes. “Study my ass,” grumbled Leonard. 

It was impossible but Jim’s grin grew wider and there was a dusting of rosey coloring across his cheeks that started on his nose. “Maybe later, Bones.” He gave Leonard one final hug before departing. 

Leonard sighed heavily and gently touched his own cheek.   
…

Later that night; Leonard sat on the couch in their small living space. It was cluttered with paperbacks and various materials. He’d say he was just studying, with a PADD resting in his lap, but he wasn’t even scrolling through any of the information on the screen. 

He was waiting for Jim to come back. 

Waiting. He shifted his back and grunted as it popped. 

Waiting. His head rolled to the side and he pulled his knees up to his chest. 

Waiting. He dozed off with a leg slung over the side of the couch and his hands folded across his stomach. 

Leonard woke up, an arm rest behind his back and a warm body under his feet. A soft blanket had been pulled above his chin. He rolled his head and sat up slowly. 

Vision blurred he made out the outline of Jim. Leonard rubbed his face as details flooded his eyes. Jim was calmly flipping through a tattered yellow paged chapter book with his legs crossed.

“Hey, what time is it?” asked Leonard. 

Jim paused his fingers and glanced at Leonard. “Four in the morning, Bones.” Jim tagged the page and pressed his lips together. 

More details filled Leonard’s vision. Dark circles rested under Jim’s soft hues. He shifted and moved closer to Jim. “You sleep at all?” He rested his chin on Jim’s shoulder and quirked the corner of his mouth.

Jim shut the book and tossed it aside. It’d probably be lost for months. “I was talking with Uhura.”

Leonard took in the small yawn, shifted backwards, and rested against the armrest of the couch. He pulled Jim onto him and sighed.

Jim went stiff for a fraction of time. 

Leonard carded his fingers in Jim’s hair feeling the other relax. “Get some rest. It’s going to be a hard day.” 

Jim grumbled softly, his eyes closed, and as he drifted off he drooled onto the blanket. 

Leonard knew Jim was asleep when the other gave soft leg kicks and snored. “And you complain about my snoring.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I like the changes I made.


	5. Sleep Deprivation and Simulations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> McCoy really dislikes Jim somedays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy. Speaking of sleep deprivation hahaha Nah I'll get to bed eventually. Enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Edit: This chapter has been edited to suit my need of Midwest Jim. Because I'm also a guy from the Midwest who lives in the middle of corn fields. *finger guns*

Jim’s alarm had gone off two hours later, both of them groaning at the promise of having to start the day running off of caffeine and death. “I’m going to kill you if this test doesn’t,” growled Leonard from under Jim. 

Jim whined and rolled onto the floor with a thunk. “T’s spirring,” said Jim, incoherent and rubbing at his face. 

Leonard narrowed his eyes down at Jim. “Let's get coffee in you.” 

Jim inhaled deeply and Leonard simply stepped over the downed Jim. Neither of them were very functional in the morning but someone had to make coffee. 

“Get up off the floor or I’m making your coffee my way,” said Leonard as he walked over to the kitchen and got out what they needed to make coffee. 

Jim was up on his feet with in an instant. “No, none of your southern bitter coffee.” 

Leonard narrowed his eyes at Jim and handed him a mug. “Because making coffee with an egg taste so much better?”

“You betcha,” said Jim, far too loud as he grabbed an egg from their fridge. 

Leonard rolled his eyes. “You midwestern people.” 

Jim jabbed Leonard with an elbow. “The midwest is terribly great, dontcha know?” 

“I object, the south is terribly great,” said Leonard with a hand over his heart in mock hurt. 

They shared a laugh and fixed up their respective coffees. 

Leonard tagged along and found himself napping for the remainder of Jim’s sparring class, He woke up when Jim slammed down next to him, and rested his head on Leonard’s shoulder. “I’m awake,” said Leonard, low and slow. 

Jim gave a tired smirk. “Need more coffee,” said Jim. 

Before the test they went and got more coffee from the mess. 

Leonard sipped the cup slowly while Jim got threw two more cups. “Jimbo,” said Leonard with a raised brow. 

Jim stilled on his fourth cup of coffee, but he looked more awake with dark circles under his eyes. “Last cup, promise.” 

Leonard sighed and shrugged. “Make sure you grab something to eat, we leave in a few.”

… 

“Great to see you again, Uhura,” said Jim as they walked out onto the testing floor, Jim dropped like a bag of rocks into the testing chair and twirled an apple in his hand. 

Uhura shook her head as she slid into her own testing chair. “Wish it was,” said Uhura, playfully, but with a touch of irritant. 

Leonard offered Uhura a small smile and said, “Mornin’.”

Uhura glanced at him and gave him her best smile. “Good morning, Leonard, how was your night?” 

Leonard answered with a look over to Jim and a raise of a brow. He looked back to her and kept that brow raised. “Take a guess.”

She offered him a pat on the arm, and he took it. 

“How come he gets an arm pat and I get narrowed eyes and daggers?” asked Jim with a small whine and a hand over his heart in mock hurt. 

Leonard groaned and walked over to the testing console. “Why you want a kiss for luck?” asked Leonard without turning his head back to Jim. 

It had gone mostly silent as other cadets filed in to fill positions in the testing room. “I would,” said Jim finally. 

When Leonard looked back Jim was leaning forward with that grin spread across his face. Leonard felt his face heat up and he rolled his eyes. “Too bad,” said Leonard. 

Jim sucked in his lower lip and chewed on the skin there. “Fine.” 

Leonard faced forward and took in a deep breath. 

“Ready,” said Jim once everyone was settled down. The simulation began. 

Leonard sat up straight and tried to not lean back in his chair. 

“We're receiving a distress signal from the USS Kobayashi Maru. The ship has lost power and is stranded. Starfleet Command has ordered us to rescue them, Captain,” said Uhura, soft and simple. 

Jim’s voice was laden with sleep and the after effects of too much caffeine. Caffeinated Jim was often chatty and overly chipper. “Reply to their distress signal and let them know we’re coming to get them.”

Of course the simulation wasn’t that easy, Jim knew that, and Leonard knew that. 

Leonard inhaled sharply, turned in his chair, and faced Jim with a tilt of his head and a quirk of his lips. He addressed Jim with the simulated problem. “Two Klingon vessels have entered the neutral zone and are locking weapons on us.” 

The lighting was just so unnaturally bright and harsh against Jim’s features. “That’s okay,” said Jim with a tooth peeking grin. 

Leonard furrowed his brows and cleared his throat. “That’s okay?” asked the medical officer with a bob and shake of his head. 

Leonard couldn’t help but follow the light press of Jim’s fingertips against his lips, nor the way the apple rolled against the arm of the chair, and the soft squint to Jim’s eyes as he smiled slowly. 

“Yeah, Don’t worry about it,” said Jim, slow, and he sank further into the chair. “... Raise shields.”

Leonard gritted his teeth, turned back toward the con, and rolled his eyes. “Three more Klingon warbirds have decloaked and are targeting our ship.” he turned to Jim again and raised a brow. “Is this a problem?”

Jim sucked on his lower lip, top teeth dragged against it, and then Jim pressed his lips together and tapped his fingers on the chair. He leaned forward and rested his apple against the right side of his head, just above his eye. “Not really,” said Jim with a laden sigh. 

“They’re firing, Captain,” said another cadet in the testing room. 

Jim sat straight up then and turned his head over to Uhura. “Alert medical bay to prepare to receive all crew members from the damaged ship.”

Uhura protested, quick, and precise with her words. “How do you expect us to rescue them? We're surrounded by Klingons, Captain.” 

Leonard saw Jim’s chest expand and descend with a sharp intake of breath and a slow smile. “Alert medical,” said Jim before taking a big bite of apple and turning back toward the center of the room. 

Jim looked to Leonard, and Leonard swore he could see something shifting in them. 

Leonard simply turned back to his station as the simulation room shook with mock fire. Leonard groaned, “Our ship is being hit. Shields at sixty percent.” 

When Leonard looked back to Jim the simulation Captain was rubbing his index finger with his thumb, eyes down casted, and something of a sly smirk toying at his lips. It was a look that played at Leonard’s heart recently, a look of hacking into school databases, and performing the best act you’ve seen. 

It made Leonard’s chest squeeze. What had his best friend done? “Should we shoot back?” asked Leonard with a sharp inhale and a pull on his shoulders that made them release a soft popping noise. 

Leonard followed Jim’s movements from the press of his lips, to the blooming red mark on his knuckle from rubbing the skin there. “Nope,” said Jim, punctuated with a crunch of the apple. 

Leonard’s palms felt sweaty as he turned back to the console. “Thought so.” 

The lights flickered and the power went out for only a small moment, Onlookers in their booth confused, and asking questions. 

The power returned and Jim said, “Fire weapons.” 

Leonard turned around. “They have full shields.” 

Jim’s arched brow made Leonard squirm. “Do they?” 

They didn’t. Leonard bit his lower lip. “They don’t.” 

Jim crunched down on the apple once more. “Fire weapons.” 

Pike was not going to be able to get Jim out of this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do enjoy the changes I'm making to this and it's just great


	6. Oh No He Is Hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim is really gay sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've made changes to this chapter! they are there.

Jim didn't appreciate getting caught red handed. “I believe I have the right to face my accuser.” he looked around and spotted a Vulcan in a black uniform rising from his seat. Instead of rage Jim felt a blush creep up onto his face.

“This is commander Spock. He is one of our-” all words got lost after the Vulcan made his way down to the adjacent podium. 

Oh no, Jim thought as his chin rested comfortably in his palm and his face heated up, he is hot.

“Cadet Kirk, you somehow managed to install and activate a subroutine to the programming code, thereby changing the conditions of the test.” Even Spock’s voice was deep and dreamy. 

Jim blinked and shook his head. “Your point?” he leaned against the podium before standing up a little straighter. No use in looking too relaxed.

“You cheated,” came the blunt response. God the Vulcan sounded heavenly. 

Jim bit his lower lip and shifted on his feet. “The entire test is a cheat.” He laughed a little and looked at the Vulcan. “You programed it to be unwinnable.”

Spock barely faltered. “Your argument precludes the possibility of a no-win scenario.”

Jim leaned on the podium. “I don’t believe in no-win scenarios.” there was fire in his eyes and blood boiling in his veins. He was almost daring Spock. Daring him to do what? Even Jim didn’t know. He just wanted to watch this aesthetically pleasing man for a little while longer. 

Spock kept his hands behind his back and looked to Jim, stoic, and straight. “Then, not only did you violate the rules, you also failed to understand the principle lesson.”

Jim chewed on his lower lip once more before he grit his teeth together, then grinned sweetly. “Enlighten me,” said Jim lowly and with heavy eyes.

Something shifted in Spock’s eyes and Jim smirked. “You of all people should know, Cadet Kirk. a Captain cannot cheat death.” 

Jim gripped the podim tight and bit his lower lip. He should know that, should know everything about it, but he wanted to run from the legacy George Kirk left behind. “What should I know?” asked Jim with a gentle scratch to the marks above his uniform collar. 

Spock shifted slightly, he eyed the marks, and then cleared his throat. “Your father, Lieutenant George Kirk, assumed command of his vessel before being killed in action, did he not?”

Jim grinned a little, shook his head, looked forward, then back to Spock. “You just don’t like that I beat your test.” He felt something squirm in his gut when he heard the heavy puff of air that escaped into the all too quiet room. 

Jim and Spock made eye contact for a small portion of time. 

Spock blinked and had his mouth set in a thin line. “Furthermore, you have failed to define the purpose of the test.” there was a pause. “The purpose is to experience fear. Fear in the face of certain death. To accept that fear, and maintain control of oneself and one's crew. This is a quality expected in every Starfleet captain.”

Jim inhaled sharply and narrowed his eyes at Spock. “Have you ever taken your own test, Mister Spock?”

Before Spock could answer someone rushed through the doors exclaiming “Sorry!” as they went down and handed a paper to Barnett. 

The room grew quite. Barnett’s booming voice erased that quickly. “ We've received a distress call from Vulcan. With our primary fleet engaged in the Laurentian system, I hereby order all cadets to report to Hangar One immediately. Dismissed.”

Jim’s stomach sank and he looked over to Spock with a frown, but the Vulcan was already leaving, pretty quickly. Jim walked over to Bones, leaned against him, and crossed his arms.

“Who is that pointy eared bastard?” asked Bones with a raised brow and a slow wrap around Jim. 

Jim pressed his lips together in thought and smirked. “I don’t know.” 

In unison they both said, “I like him.” 

Then hazel met blue and Bones gave Jim a quick peck on the head before they headed to hanger one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *finger guns*


	7. The Hot One?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard helps Jim sneak onto the enterprise because he can't stand Jim being a pouty child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were also some edits to this chapter.

They stood in a sea of cadet reds. 

 

Leonard took a deep breath knowing he was here for Jim. Knowing he wouldn’t be here for Jim much longer, because Leonard had to get aboard the Enterprise. 

 

The Commander called out the many names of the cadets, gave them their assignments, and proudly said, “Welcome to Starfleet, godspeed.”

 

They never called Jim. Leonard looked toward his friend with a small frown.

 

Jim’s drawn down eyebrows, tucked in frame, and he was rubbing his palm. “He…” Jim’s eyes lowered and he glanced at Leonard with a set frown. “He didn't call my name.” 

 

Leonard put a hand on Jim’s lower back only for Jim to jerk away. Jim was stubborn, Leonard had known that for three years, and so Jim went after the Commander. 

 

Leonard groaned and rubbed his face. “Jimbo,” called Leonard as he kicked his feet back to keep up with Jim’s long strides.

___

  
  


                     “Excuse me, Commander, you didn't say my name, it's Kirk, James T.” Jim bounced on his toes and chewed his lower lip. He barely registered Bones coming up next to him. 

 

Didn’t register Bones had wrapped an arm around him.

 

The Commander flipped through his PADD. “You're under academic probation.” 

 

Jim blinked rapidly. Because he changed the conditions of an unwinnable program? Of course. That was smart. Of course he’d be on academic probation.  “Right…” his voice was small in the rush of blood to his ears. “Of course.” Everything felt so heavy.  

 

“Tough break.”  The man walked away.

 

Bones sighed. “I'm sorry, Ji-”

 

Jim turned to Bones and grabbed his arms. Getting into his friend’s personal space the fire burned in his eyes.  “You…Come back to me.” He looked into Bones’s eyes. “Don’t die.” he made no motions to remove himself from the doctor. Maybe if he held on long enough Bones wouldn’t leave him. 

 

Bones kept eye contact with Jim, up this close Jim could have sworn he saw something soften in Bones’s beautiful blue eyes, but it could have been nothing. That is what Jim wrote it off as anyways. Just nothing.

 

“Follow me,” said Bones breaking from Jim’s hold.

 

Jim pressed his lips together and swallowed. He followed Bones to a medical shuttlecraft. 

 

Where Bones rifled through many vials and hypos. He looked over at Kirk and shot him with one. 

 

Jim jumped and grabbed where Leonard had injected him. “Ow!” 

____

 

            “I just gave you a vaccine against viral infection from Melvaran mud fleas.” Leonard held Jim’s face for a little while, enjoying the expressive nature, and the softness under his hands. “Oh, You're going to get a really bad headache and a flop sweat. You'll thank me later.” Leonard grabbed Jim’s left arm and lead him to the boarding area. 

 

Jim glared at Leonard. “I already was having a terrible headache.” Jim wobbled on his feet and fell into Leonard. 

 

Leonard frowned and furrowed his brows, before securing his arm around Jim. “Really? How long has that headache been bothering you?” Leonard held Jim close, and used his free hand to swipe some of the sticky hair from Jim’s scalp.

 

“They come and go.” Jim blinked and squinted. “Is it normal to be blind in my left eye?”

 

Leonard bit his lower lip and nodded. “Just the vaccine, Jim.” They walked over to the shuttlecraft that was going to the Enterprise. Much to Leonard’s delight there was a man there to try to stop him from bringing Jim. 

 

“James T. Kirk is not cleared to be aboard the Enterprise,” said the man.

 

Leonard squeezed Jim’s side as he felt the other lurch forward a little. “Medical Code states the treatment and transport of a patient to be determined at the discretion of his attending physician,” Leonard gave this man the most sickeningly sweet grin he could muster. “Which is me,” the gruffness of his voice didn’t help to be sweet, but it was threatening. 

 

Jim gripped onto Leonard and made a noise that the doctor was sure was something of a whimper.

 

It tugged on Leonard’s heart strings. “So, I'm taking Mister Kirk aboard or would you like to explain to Captain Pike why the Enterprise warped into a crisis without one of its senior medical officers?”

 

The shuttle moderator looked like he was going to wet himself. Leonard was delighted when they said, “As you were.” 

 

Jim gripped tighter onto Leonard and muttered, “As you were.” it lacked any usual bite Leonard had been accustomed to from Jim. 

 

Leonard rubbed Jim’s back slowly. “Com'on.”

 

Jim clung to Leonard as they moved onto the shuttlecraft.

 

Leonard's heart rate picked up a little with the closeness as he sat them both down. 

 

Jim jerky and still clingy. “I might throw up on you.” groaned Jim, pained, and in Leonard’s ear.

 

Leonard smirked in memory of when they had met and looked out the window as they took off. He felt only slightly anxious about this trip into space, it helped to have Jim’s warmth radiating on his side, and the arms that slid around his arm.  

 

Jim rolled his head onto Leonard’s shoulder with a soft sigh. “You’re enjoying this.” 

 

Leonard glanced down and placed a soft kiss on Jim’s sweaty hair. “I don’t enjoy your pain, Darlin’.” 

 

He ignored the hitch in Jim’s breath. He put it up to the vaccine. 

 

They approached the Enterprise. A glistening monstrosity that was bigger than any tin can shuttlecraft. If anything it looked almost as impressive as Jim sleeping at a decent hour.

 

Leonard nudged Jim with a smile. “You gotta see this, Jimbo.” 

 

Jim whined slightly as he rolled his head on Leonard’s shoulder, his nose brushed Leonard’s clavicle, and he turned his attention outside the window. Jim’s eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning, or like a cat who just got into the catnip. “She is Beautiful,” said Jim, voice scratchy, and slow.

 

The shuttlecraft docked in the loading zone. 

 

Leonard only knew they were loading because artificial lights danced across Jim’s irises. Leonard almost stopped breathing as the thought crossed his mind, Jim was just as beautiful as this death trap of a ship. He swallowed thickly and stared forward. With a deep breath he let that thought go away. He did not have a romantic crush on his best friend.

 

Leonard and Jim exit the shuttle craft getting aboard the Enterprise.

 

Jim still clung to Leonard. 

 

Leonard noticed Jim’s knees shake. He held an arm around Jim’s weist to support him. The cadet uniform was soaking through with sweat and Leonard furrowed his brows. “We need to get you changed.” Not just because of the cadet uniform, but it was god awful to look at. 

 

Jim rolled his eyes and whimpered as Leonard dragged him down the corridors of the ship. “I feel like I'm leaking,” mumbled Jim as they passed through a corridor. 

 

Leonard rolled his eyes and widened them when he spotted the one person who’d definitely not like Jim on board. “Shit. It's the Hobgoblin.” Leonard pulled Kirk down a hallway out of sight. 

 

Jim of course tugged against Leonard’s hold and tried  tried to spot the Vulcan, craned his neck, and even pushed on Leonard. “The hot one?” asked Jim as he slid only slightly from Leonard’s grasp.

 

Leonard groaned, “Yes the hot one,” He grabbed Jim’s arm, and pulled him into a Turbolift. 

 

Where Jim pressed against Leonard’s chest and whined, “He’s attractive, Even I can see that, Bones.” 

 

Leonard rolled his eyes again and groaned. “You aren’t hooking me up with a Vulcan, Jimbo.” 

 

“But he is attractive, has a real aesthetic going for him.” 

 

“Jim, when we get to the medbay I’m putting you down for a nap.”

 

The doors opened and Leonard pulled Jim along.

 

Once in sick bay Leonard slid his hands up under the red uniform. “This is not how I wanted to get you undressed,” said Leonard as he folded up the red monstrosity, and then handed Jim a black sweater. “I’m not taking off your pants for you.” 

 

Jim smiled at Leonard as he pulled his head through the sweater. “Maybe later.” Jim was not shy about changing his pants right there.

 

Leonard rolled his eyes. 

 

“My mouth feels itchy. ‘s that normal?” asked Jim as he rolled his head into the nape of Leonard’s neck. 

 

Leonard sighed, pushed away from the biobed, and went to grab a few hypos. One being a sedative. “Side effects should go away shortly.” He came back over to Jim and coaxed Jim to recline on the bed. “I’m going to give you a mild sedative.” 

 

Jim jerked at that and fought against Leonard. “No you will not-” but Leonard had already injected it into Jim’s neck. Jim had yelped and glared. “I wish I didn't know you.” He relaxed against Leonard and fell backward onto the biobed. 

 

Leonard released a sigh and rubbed his hand against his face. “Finally some damn peace and quiet.” he looked down at Jim and stroked his hair back before going to change into his uniform.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *finger guns away*


	8. Love to Do it Again In Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim is on a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8 *finger guns and pew pew noises* Uhhhh this is a particularly long part and I apparently didn't switch out of Jim's point of view for the longesssssst time.
> 
> Warning: Swearing. 
> 
> Again you can tell me to change the Rating.
> 
> Edit: I've made some edits to this chapter

Jim jerked up from the biobed catching the tail end of a shipwide broadcast, had they said lightning storm? In space? Jim’s mind dragged behind as he slid from the biobed. 

 

“How you feeling, Jimbo?” asked Bones’s voice far beyond the confines of Jim’s focus. 

 

Jim walked up to a panel in the medbay and said, “Pushing through, Bones.” As he lifted his hand up to replay the message. “Did he say lighting storm?” 

 

Jim heard Bones take in a sharp breath as the message replayed. “Jim,” said Bones, stern, and unwavering. “What the hell are you allergic to?” 

 

That made Jim pause and he slowly looked down at his raised hand It was swollen. When he lifted up his other hand that was also blown up to an abnormal, like those ancient cartoons of nutty animals with comically large gloves. Jim found his brain finally had caught up with the situation at hand and he gripped onto Bones’s face and screamed, “Bones, What the FUCK?”

 

Eyes wide, mouth opening and closing like a fish blowing bubbles, Bones was at a loss, and then the shrillest noise escaped the Doctor’s throat. “Shit shit shit. Hang on, Jim. I can-”

 

Jim thought about the lighting storm, his birth, Pike’s dissertation, thought about his night at Uhura’s listening to her talk about what she found in the labs, A break in to a Klingon Prison camp, a ship on the edge of the neutral zone twenty five years ago, and he did not have time if this really was connected. “I don’t have time for this,” said Jim, he pushed away from Bones and rushed out of medical. Medical allergy be damned. Bones could fix him up later.

 

Or on the way if the solid footfalls behind him was anything to go by. 

 

Jim didn’t even know where Uhura was if he was going to get her input on this. Despite not wanting to be hypoed and dragged away by Bones, Jim stopped at a panel. “You need medical treatment-” 

 

Jim held a hand up to silence Bones. “Computer give me the location of Lieutenant Uhura,” said Jim, clear, and with a little attitude. 

 

Bones narrowed his eyes at Jim and Jim found he was getting stuck with a hypo to the neck. 

 

“Bones,” growled Jim, low, and with a deep set glare. 

 

“It’ll help with the swelling,” growled Bones as he put the hypo away and filled it again. 

 

Jim looked to the panel and pushed off the bulkhead. “Follow me,” he told Bones without waiting as he sprinted off to where the computer told him he could locate Uhura. 

 

She was sitting down at a table looking bored to tears. She should be on the bridge, thought Jim, she is a better choice all around. 

 

Yet, there she was, legs crossed delicately in her red issue uniform, arms bare, and Jim wondered where her rank was. 

 

“Nyota,” said Jim as he rushed over to her, much to Bones groaning as he had just caught up. 

 

Uhura sat up straight and turned her attention to him. “Jim?” her face crinkled and furrowed. “What are you doing here?” Jim held up his hands slowly and her eyes grew wide. “What is wrong with your hands?” 

 

Jim had too many answers and not enough time. 

 

Bones shot another hypo into his neck. 

 

Jim hissed and glared back at Bones, the Doctor finally backing off, and then he turned back to Uhura. “Light of my life, best communications officer of all time,” She looked at him with a raised brow. Jim took in a deep breath and let it out. “I need to know if the ship from last night’s transmission was,” he couldn’t feel his tongue as the last word slipped from his mouth, “Wolmuan.” It was tingles, pain, and heaviness against his teeth, “Wolmuan.” He snapped his head Bones.

 

Bones cleared his throat and looked away, “Numb tongue.” 

 

Jim pressed his lips together and fixed Bones with a glare. “Leonard,” growled Jim before he snapped his head back to Uhura. 

 

Uhura lifted a brow and quirked her lips a little. “Jim.” and then she looked to Bones. 

 

Jim breathed through his nose. “I can fix that,” said Bones as he sifted through his medical bag. 

 

Jim growled and shouted, “Romulan.” This was not doing the pressure against his head any good. 

 

Uhura furrowed her brows and tilted her head down and to the side. “The ship was Romulan.”

 

Jim bit on his lower lip. That only confirmed the worst. “We have to stop this ship,” whispered Jim. 

 

Jim started off in a sprint, and slid into a turbo lift with Bones and Uhura. “Jim, are you okay?” Uhura asked once the doors closed and they were making their way up to the bridge. 

 

“I’m fine,” said Jim as he tapped his foot. 

 

“He is running on two hours of sleep, coffee, and he is heavily medicated,” said Bones while rifling through his medkit. 

 

Jim jerked his leg and groaned. “When was the last time there was a lighting storm in space guys?” 

 

The lift was plunged into silence while Jim left them to think about it. “Twenty five years ago,” said Uhura as the lift doors opened. 

 

Jim pushed off the wall and rushed through the doors. 

 

“Jim, wait,” hissed Bones in a hushed breath. 

 

Jim focused on the center chair and in a rush said, “Captain.” Jim took in a deep breath when Pike turned in the chair with furrowed brows. Jim could tell all eyes were on him, he looked around at the members of the bridge, and connected eyes with Spock. 

 

Jim offered the vulcan a small grin, but those pointy eyebrows became even pointier.

 

Bones slid a hand around Jim’s wrist and tugged him back. “Jim,” hissed Bones. 

 

Jim waved him off, jerked from the loose hold, and advanced on the chair in the middle of the railings. “Captain Pike,” said Jim with a straight back and a head held high. “We need to stop this ship.” 

 

Pike’s head tilted and he blinked. “How the hell did you get aboard the Enterprise, Kirk?”

 

Bones’s arm wrapped around Jim’s weist and tugged Jim into his body. “Captain, this man is under the influence of a severe reaction of a Melvaran flea vaccine, completely-”

 

Jim slapped at Bones’s hand and tore away from the hold. “Bones,” hissed Jim with narrowed eyes. 

 

Bones narrowed his eyes back at Jim and then held his hands on his hips as he said to Pike, “Completely delusional.” How dare. Jim was not delusional! “I take full responsibility.”

 

“I swear to God Bones I’m not sleeping in your bed anymore,” hissed Jim with a scowl. Then he turned to Pike with his hands held defensively in front of himself. “Vulcan is not experiencing a natural disaster.” 

 

There was a pause and Pike looked at Jim with a raised a brow. 

 

Jim wouldn’t know about looks fathers gave their sons, but he swore that was the look Pike was giving him. That look of expecting a tale of why Susie from school had ink in her hair and was crying. Only Susie was the Enterprise and Jim was the ink that didn’t belong on the bridge. 

 

Jim took in a sharp breath, lowered his hands to his sides, and cocked a hip. “They are being attacked by Romulans.” 

 

“Romulans?” asked Pike without lowering that brow. “Cadet Kirk, I think you've had enough attention for one day.” Pike shook his head and looked to Bones who stood tall next to Jim. “McCoy take Cadet Kirk back to medical, we will have a chat later.” 

 

Jim’s heart sank into his stomach and he froze to the spot. Now Jim was a liar, he lied, and he lied well. It was a gift that he could talk himself out of most situations, but he wasn’t lying about this. 

 

“Aye, Captain.” Bones slid an arm around Jim’s arm. 

 

Jim jerked at Bones’s hold. “Sir,” Jim used his free hand to motion toward Pike, a flick of the wrist, and a roll of his neck. “Look, that same anomaly-” 

 

Pike rose to his feet and rolled his shoulders back. “Mister Kirk,” said Pike, with a closed expression. 

 

Spock slid over into the conversation, his face void of all human qualities, and Jim shouldn’t be surprised about that. “Cadet Kirk is not cleared to be aboard this vessel.” 

 

Jim narrowed his eyes at the Vulcan and shifted toward him with a clenched jaw. “Look, I get it, you're a great orator. I'd love to do it again with you in bed.” 

 

The bridge went eerily quiet at that comment and there was even a sense of confusion to the Vulcan’s face. 

 

That silence was broken by Uhura stifling a laugh. 

 

Spock had turned to her and raised an eyebrow. 

 

Uhura cleared her throat and looked from Spock to Jim. “It’s funny,” said Uhura. 

 

It was funny. Bones was even shaking as he pulled back from Jim and rubbed at his temples, “Not the time, Jim.” 

 

Jim smirked and put his hands on his hips. “Good so I can continue?” 

 

Spock addressed Pike with a flick of his head, “Captain, If I may remove the Cadet-”

 

“I’m trying to save this bridge,” said Jim, a finger pointed in Spock’s face. “So I’d like to see you try.”

 

Out of the corner of his eye Jim saw Bones rubbing his temples. “He is Vulcan, Jim, he can lift you,” said Bones. 

 

Jim bit his lower lip and narrowed his eyes at Spock. Why did Bones have to be right?

 

“Trying to save the bridge?” asked Spock with a flicker of his eyes and a twitch of his pointed brow. “By stopping mid warp during a rescue mission?”

 

Jim visibly deflated and lowered his pointed finger. 

 

Spock raised one brow. “Highly illogical.”

 

Jim was getting tired of that stupid hot Vulcan’s face. “This isn't a rescue mission,” said Jim, steady, and with just enough heat. Jim was slowly becoming frustrated with this entire situation. Just because he exaggerated a lot didn’t mean he was exaggerating now. He ran a hand through his hair and then dragged it down his face with a groan. “How many times to I have to say it?” he asked, snapped was more like it, and he looked directly at Spock with a heated glare. “Vulcan is under attack.” 

 

Spock stood with his back straight, arms behind his back, and that stupid eyebrow lifted. “Based on what facts?” 

 

Jim took in a deep breath and looked to Bones and Uhura. “When was the last time there was a lightning storm in space?” He asked them with his hands on his hips and irritation pressing hot against his eyes. 

 

“Twenty five years ago,” said Uhura without a pause. 

 

Jim turned to Pike. “Twenty five years ago, this same anomaly,” said Jim with his back straight and feet set firmly on the floor. “A lightning storm in space.”

 

Jim turned to everyone on the bridge and stretched his body up to its full height. “It happened twenty five years ago on the day of my birth. Before the USS Kelvin was attacked by a Romulan ship.”

 

Jim looked to Pike with gritted teeth. “You should have known that, Sir.” Jim paused for only a second. “I read it in your dissertation.”

 

Jim bounced on his toes and addressed the bridge again, “The Kelvin fought the ship on the edge of the neutral zone and that Romulan ship was never found.” He looked over at Uhura. She stood tall with her face set in a thin line. “And last night.” 

 

Uhura stared at Jim and bit her lower lip. 

 

Jim blinked slowly and looked to the bridge. ““Forty-seven Klingon warbirds were destroyed by a Romulan ship.” 

 

Jim addressed Pike, “It was reported that the Romulans were in one massive ship.” 

 

Pike put a hand on his own hip and tilted his head. “How do you know that?” 

 

“Lieutenant Uhura,” said Jim, mouth set in a thin line, and he looked to her. “She is a talented communications officer.”

 

Uhura breathed in, took tentative steps forward, and placed a hand on Jim’s shoulder. “I intercepted and translated the message, Sir,” said Uhura, even, and strong. “Cadet Kirk is correct.” 

 

Jim bit his lower lip and looked at her. “Sorry about that by the way.” Uhura had seen far too much of Jim the night before, and that was after her broke Galia’s heart. 

 

“Not the place.” She slid her hand back to her side and stepped back with Bones. 

 

Bones who now had his arms crossed over his chest, and who was looking at the stoic Vulcan.

 

Jim inhaled deeply and looked to Pike once more. “We are warping into a trap, Sir.” Jim pulled his shoulders back, some soft pops, and cracks released. “The Romulans are waiting for us, I can promise you that much.”

 

“The cadet’s logic is sound,” said Spock, he was now closer to Jim, and those nearly void eyes were looking him up slowly. 

 

Bones surged forward, his head almost rested on Jim’s shoulder, and he pointed back at Uhura. “Her xenolinguistics skills are great.” 

 

Jim turned to Bones with a big grin. “Oh they are.” 

 

Uhura put a hand on Jim again. “Not the time boys.” 

 

Pike looked at them and sighed. He turned to his lieutenant. “Check Vulcan space for any transmissions in Romulan.” 

 

The lieutenant pressed his lips together. “Sir, I don't think I can distinguish Romulan from Vulcan…”

 

Pike looked to Uhura, “Cadet.” 

 

Uhura placed a hand on both Bones and Jim as she saw them both twitch at the confusion in her rank. “Uhura.”

 

“Do you speak Romulan?” Pike raised a brow. 

 

Uhura stood tall. “Yes, Sir. All three dialects.”

 

Pike pointed to the station. “Uhura, Relieve the Lieutenant.”

 

Uhura nodded and sat at the station. “Yes, Sir.” 

 

“Hannity, hail the USS Truman.” Pike sat back in his chair. 

 

Jim vibrated and rubbed his thumb against the bend of his pointer finger. 

 

Bones held his hand out and grabbed Jim’s hand. “Stop doing that.” A hushed tone that grabbed the attention of Jim and even Spock who was watching Jim close.

 

Jim stared at his best friend and pouted. “Bones.”

  
When Hannity spoke their attention turned to them. “All the other ships are out of warp, sir, and have arrived at Vulcan, but we seemed to have lost all contact.” 

  
Uhura turned around in her chair, “Sir, I pick up no Romulan transmission, or transmission of any kind in the area.” 

  
Jim’s stomach sank and he squeezed Bones’s hand. “It's because they're being attacked.” He stood straight and frowned. 

 

He looked at Spock and then let go of Bones’s hand quick. 

  
Pike looked around and frowned. “Shields up, red alert.” 

  
“Arrival in Vulcan in five seconds... four... three... two…”  the man at the controls stopped the ship. 

 

It was a graveyard. That was the best and worst way to put it. A graveyard of still motion of wreaked starships and carnage. Vulcan in the middle of it all. 

 

Pike’s commotion of manning battlestations and keeping the ship secure fall into the cracks of Jim’s mind as he stared at the ongoing battle. Until Spock spoke up about Torpedos. Then he noticed the weight of Bones against his back, tight, and keeping him braced. 

 

Jim gripped back with a sharp inhale. 

 

“Sulu, Status report,” said Pike.  

 

Jim made note that Sulu was the man at the navigation console.  

 

Jim slowly pulled from Bones but held the doctor’s hand. “You okay Jim?” asked Bones.

 

“Fine, Don’t worry about it,” responded Jim with little thought to his answer still hyper focused on the battle.

 

Bones squeezed Jim’s hand. 

 

Jim looked down at their hands, then up to Bones, and he frowned. He couldn’t worry Bones.

 

Bones looked into Jim’s eyes. 

 

Jim looked away as his heart beated against his chest. “I’m fine.” He gave Bones’s hand a squeeze back and looked back into his eyes. “Believe me.” Jim smiled wide at him.

 

Bones let out a breath and narrowed his eyes. Bones didn’t press any further, and Jim was grateful that he had a guy like Bones in his life.

 

“Shields at thirty-two percent. They're weapons are powerful, sir.” Sulu turned to look at Pike. “We can't take another hit like that.”

 

Pike cracked his knuckles and his neck. “Get me Starfleet Command.” 

 

Off to the side Spock studied the Romulan ship and his home planet. “Captain,” He turned to  Pike, then glanced at Jim and Bones, “The Romulan ship has lowered a high energy pulse device into Vulcan atmosphere.” 

 

Jim raised an eyebrow at Spock.  

 

“The signal appears to be blocking our communications and transporter abilities.” said Spock.

 

Pike turned to Spock and stood up addressing the bridge. “Put all of our power into shields and Prepare to fire phasers.” 

 

Uhura turned in her chair. “Captain we're being hailed.”

 

“Put them through,” Pike sat down with a sigh and turned to the viewscreen.

 

Bones took a deep breath and released Jim’s hand. They both look to the viewscreen.

 

The Romulan showed up on screen looking somewhat surprised for a fraction of a second. “Hello.” 

 

Pike shifted in his chair. “I'm Captain Christopher Pike. To who am I speaking to?” 

 

Jim swallowed. This was likely the man who took a fatherly figure from him. It almost made his blood boil. 

 

Kirk looked at Spock and then at the view screen quickly.

 

Bones shifted to stand behind Jim and gently placed his hand at the small of Jim’s back. 

 

Spock stood tall and glanced over at Jim before turning his attention back to the view screen. 

 

“Hi, Christopher. I’m Nero.” 

 

Jim shifted and pushed the toe of his shoe against his other foot.

 

“You've declared war against the Federation.” Pike’s words hung in the air. “Withdraw and I'll agree to arrange a conference with Romulan leadership at a neutral location.” 

 

Nero looked to almost smirk. “I do not speak for the empire.” Nero's eyes shifted slightly. “We stand apart, like your Vulcan.” 

 

Spock shifted slightly and put his arms behind his back. 

 

Jim and Bones look over to the Vulcan.

 

Nero had the faintest smirk. “Isn't that right, Spock?”

 

Spock tilted his head slightly taking the time to choose careful words. “I don't believe we have been  acquainted.” 

 

Nero’s cold eyes narrowed. “We haven't. Not yet.” a short pause. “Spock, there is something I'd like for you to see.” 

 

Spock seemed to frown for a fraction of a moment. 

 

Nero’s eyes shifted again. “Captain Pike, your transporter has been disabled. As you can see by the rest of your armada, you have no choice. You will man a shuttle, come aboard the Narada, for negotiations. That is all.” the call ended. 

 

“He is going to kill you if you go over there,” Jim bluntly stated.

 

Spock nodded in agreement with Kirk. “I do not agree with Cadet Kirk’s actions, but he is correct. Your survival is unlikely.”

 

Kirk looked at Spock then to Captain Pike. “We gain nothing by diplomacy. Going to that ship will be a huge mistake.”

 

“I, too, agree.” there was almost a hint of fondness in Spock’s voice. “I believe you should rethink your strategy.”

 

Kirk looked over to Spock again and grinned. “Is it still a bad time to ask if you are single because I like when you agree with me.”

 

Bones smacked Jim’s back. “Bad time.”

 

“Right. Bones, You, and I can talk about this later.” Kirk pressed his lips together and gave a toothy grin.

 

Spock looked over at Kirk with a wide set of eyes before turning back to Pike. 

 

Pike took a deep breath and stood up. “I understand.” He paused, “I need officers who have training in hand to hand combat.”

 

Sulu raised from his seat at the conn. “I have combat training, Sir.”

 

“Great you'll come with me,” Pike looked at Kirk. “You don't belong here so you'll also be coming.” 

 

Kirk gave a smile that didn't reach his eyes. 

 

On the way to the door Pike looked to the young man at the conn. “Chekov, you have the conn.” 

 

“Aye aye, Keptian.” Chekov smiled.

 

Before they exited Leonard grabbed a hold of Jim and stared at him. “Don't die.” 

 

“That is so comforting Bones.” Jim laughed and patted the doctor’s shoulder. “I'll come back alive.” he paused before he gave Bones a hug and slipped away following Pike, Sulu, and Spock into the lift. 

 

Sulu, Pike, Kirk, and Spock dragged themselves through the corridors of the ship. “Without transporters, we can't beam off the ship, we can't assist Vulcan, we can't do our job.”

 

They stopped in engineering. A man in a red shirt joined their small party; Jim gave the engineer a wave.

 

Pike continued their briefing. “Mister Kirk, Mister Sulu, and Engineer Olson, will space-jump from the shuttle. You will land on that machine they lowered into the atmosphere that's scrambling our gear. You'll get inside. You'll disable it, then you'll beam back to the ship.” 

 

Jim took a breath and nodded.

 

Pike looked to Spock. “Mister Spock, I'm leaving you in command of the Enterprise. Once we have transport capabilities, communications back up, you'll contact Starfleet, report what the hell is going on here.” 

 

Spock nodded.

 

“If all else fails, fall back, rendezvous with the fleet in the Laurentian system.”

 

Jim convinced himself that they could win this. He convinced himself that he would come back. He nudged Spock. “Our little conversation isn't over,” whispered Jim. 

 

“Kirk, I'm promoting you to first officer.” 

 

Jim jumped and tilted his head. “Uh what?”

 

Spock blinked and made a noise between what and a cough. “Captain, I apologize, but the complexities of Human pranks escape me.” 

 

Jim looked over at Spock and shifted on his feet. 

 

Pike looked at the Vulcan. “It's not a prank,Spock.” 

 

They stopped briefly in the hall.

 

Sulu and Olsen going off ahead.

 

“And I'm not the Captain. You are.” Pike patted Jim’s shoulder. “Let's go.”

 

Jim looked at Spock then to Pike and swallowed. “Sir, after we disable this drill… what about you?” 

 

Pike squeezed Jim’s shoulder. “You'll just have to come get me.” he looked to Spock. “Be careful with the ship, Spock. She is new.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this was enjoyable!


	9. Tell Me Something I Don't Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock has a small chat with McCoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still a relatively short chapter after I edited it but yeah.

This escaped Spock. It was not logical to make someone who stowed away First Officer. Jim Kirk had cheated, granted he had been correct when he said Vulcan was under attack, but he was just annoying. 

Spock needed to steer his mind away from Cadet Kirk and focus on the task at hand. He was Acting Captain, that meant assessing the damages, and holding command. 

Spock strolled onto the bridge, his back straight, and head up high.

Uhura turned her chair inward after Spock sat gingerly into the Captain’s chair. “What do you think of, Jim, Captain?” 

Spock looked at her with a raised brow. This was not the time or the place to discuss these things. He should call into medical bay to see about casualties. He pressed a button on the chair. “Doctor Puri, Report?” 

There was a static pause before a familiar voice flickered over the speaker, “Puri is dead, this is Doctor McCoy.” 

Spock’s finger stilled over the button. McCoy. The one who was handsy with Cadet Kirk, perhaps they were lovers? Which wouldn’t be a bad thing, he told the knot twisting his stomach. “It seems you are now Chief Medical Officer,” said Spock, steady. 

“Tell me something I don't know,” crackled McCoy’s voice. 

A rhetorical question that required no answer and was a human’s illogical way of asking something they already knew.

Spock thought about indulging in the small human feeling that popped up into his brain. He decided to go with it. “Cadet Kirk is quite confusing.” Annoying, told the shallow feeling. Charming, told a deeper feeling. Handsome. Illogical. Adorable. 

“I said tell me something I don't know.” McCoy cut the call.

“What do you think about McCoy?” asked Uhura from her station. 

Spock inhaled sharply and looked over to her. “Are all of your friends illogical?”

“You’re the only logical one,” said Uhura with a small grin. 

Spock furrowed his brows.


	10. To Destroy a Drill You gotta Jump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a drill fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some swearing. Like. A lot of F-bombs. *finger guns* It's the drill fight so there is some depictions of death and some fighting. 
> 
> ALSO once I've been writing Into Darkness but gayer and I'm almost done with that so when this is done and over with I'll get that up. 
> 
> It's much better than this. I swear. I took a lot more creative liberties and just the more that I write the better I get at writing so...
> 
> Edit 2/27/18: I've edited the beginning of this chapter and I'm happy with some of the changes i made.

Jim rubbed his hands and bounced his knee as he glanced over from Olsen to Sulu. “What kind of hand to hand do you have?” asked Jim with a slow drag of his teeth against his lower lip. 

 

Sulu blinked and glanced over at Jim slowly. For a small beat Sulu was silent and then said, “Fencing.” 

 

Jim’s eyes went wide for a moment, he stared forward, and his knee sped up.

 

“You are clear for takeoff shuttle 89.”

 

Jim dared to look over at Olsen, the red shirt grinned wide, and vibrated in his seat. Jim couldn’t tell if it was excitement or nerves. Maybe both? “You got the charges?” asked Jim with a thick swallow and a finger tapping on his own thigh. 

 

Olsen let out an inhuman noise that sounded closely related to a cheerful, “Yeah.” Like a football player at a pep-rally or a soccer mom who just had her kids win the insignificant soccer game. “I can't wait to kick some Romulan ass.” Olsen even slammed his fists down onto his knees and snapped his head over to Jim. “Right?” 

 

Yeah football player was more likely. Jim just knew one thing; Olsen was surely pumped up for this mission. “Yeah,” Jim gave a smile that didn't reach his eyes and then looked over to Sulu with his best ‘save me’ face. 

 

Sulu gave Jim a pat on the shoulder. 

 

“Get ready to Jump, boys,” said Pike from the cockpit of the shuttlecraft. 

 

Jim slowly stood, put on his helmet, and took in a deep breath. He was nervous, but excited all in the same. It’s like rushing down the road in a fast moving car or a motorbike. 

 

He grabbed the bar that dropped down and took in another deep breath. It was jumping from that car before it rushed off a cliff. 

 

“You are clear from USS Enterprise airspace.”

 

Pike’s voice came from the cockpit. “Gentlemen, we're approaching the drop zone. You have one shot to land on that platform. You may have to fix this so pull your 'chute as late as possible.”

 

Jim took in a breath but it was rushed out of him when his back hit the ceiling. 

 

“Three... two... one--” Pike paused and then his voice filtered in again. “Remember, the Enterprise won't be able to beam you back until you turn off that drill. Good luck!” 

 

It was dropping from a damn shuttlecraft, being pulled down by gravity, and It was a lot of screaming. 

 

It was everything Jim felt as a thirteen year old boy and more. 

 

Vulcan was a beautiful blur as they dropped through the atmosphere. “Kirk to Enterprise.” He let out a breath. He’d have to break away from thoughts of a thirteen year old boy. Break away before they dug further. “Five thousand meters until target.” 

 

Olsen was having the time of his life even getting ahead of Kirk. At least Kirk could imagine the security officer was enjoying his time with the whooping sounds coming from his mouth. 

 

Sulu went onto the comm. “Forty-two hundred meters until the platform.”

 

“Four thousand meters.” Kirk bites his lower lip. 

 

“Three Thousand.” said Sulu. 

 

“Two thousand.” Jim breathed in.

 

Sulu shouted, “Pull your chute!” 

 

Sulu pulled his chute followed by Jim.

 

Olsen continued to barrel down. “Olsen pull your chute,” Jim screamed. 

 

“Not yet!” Olsen laughed. “Fifteen hundred meters!” 

 

Jim felt his guts bubble and his stomach clench. “Fuck.”

 

Olsen let out a loud whoop. “One thousand meter-” he smacked into the side of the drill and was sucked up into the energy beam. 

 

“Fuck!” Kirk made a strangled noise as he landed, nearly meeting the same fate, he retracted his chute, scrambled to meet solid ground of the drill, and pulled his helmet off to take big gulping breaths. This moment was short lived as a Romulan unearthed themself from the drill. With a wheezing breath Kirk shot up onto his feet and ran at the Romulan. 

 

Jim landed a few good hits on the Romulan before trying to pull out his phaser, which as soon as it was out had been knocked down off the drill, “For fuck sake.” He stared at the romulan for a moment, before he gripped the helmet and started to smack the other with it. He knocked the weapon from this Romulan’s grasp.

 

Another Romulan raised from the drill. 

 

Jim smacked them too while he hoped Sulu made a safe landing. Hoping paid off as he wrestled with one of the Romulans and the other went off to fight with Sulu.

 

Jim was pushed back and glared at the Romulan before throwing another punch, it made contact with the alien’s nose, and Jim smirked. 

 

It was wiped off his face when he got punched.

 

Slightly dazed he fell backwards and onto his knees and then down onto his face as the Romulan hit him again. He groaned. 

 

The Romulan hoisted Jim up by the back of his suit and shoved him to the side.

 

Jim landed on his face again. As he staggered up he glared at the Romulan. Iron flooded his taste buds, he knew he was going to have bruises, and a cut stung as he pressed his lips together. He ran at the Romulan again and threw a punch. 

 

They dodged and threw their own punch. 

 

Jim ducked backwards. 

 

They circled around one and other. Jim breathed in heavy and bit at his lip. 

 

The Romulan cracked their shoulders and then their knuckles. 

 

Jim glared and screamed as he ran at the Romulan. 

 

They simply tossed Jim over their shoulder. 

 

Jim grunted and gasped as he landed on his right side. He’d definitely have bruises and possibly some fractured bones. 

 

Then the Romulan kicked him off the side of the drill. 

 

Jim gasped and scrambled to hold onto the lip of the drill. His fingers gripped the edge tight as he stared up at the Romulan and tried not to look down. 

 

The Romulan’s foot stomped down next to Jim’s hand.

 

Jim kicked his feet at the air and inhaled sharply. I can’t die here, He thought to himself. 

 

The Romulan tried to crush Jim’s fingers with his boots again and again.

 

Jim slid his hand to the next hand hold with a wide set of eyes. He tried to pull himself up to have a boot go between his hands. He squealed, his breath hitched, the thought of Bones crossed his mind, even Spock, and then the thought of Sulu.

 

Sulu could still help him, Jim convinced himself, he could still hear the other man fighting over the roar of the drill. Sulu would help him. 

 

He still held onto that thought even as the Romulan crushed his fingers beneath a boot with a sickening set of cracks. 

 

Jim wailed as the burning feeling numbed his fingers. He retracted his hand and wheezed. Thankful for Academy physical training that barely allowed him to hold on with one arm.

 

When he heard a wet gasping sound, he looked up, and saw a sword sticking out of the Romulan’s chest. Covered in green blood. 

 

Sulu then stood above him with his arm outstretched. “Give me your hand.” 

 

Jim struggled to pull himself up and gripped Sulu’s arm. 

 

Sulu helped him up and they kneeled near the edge. 

 

Jim wheezed and shook looking to where he had just been dangling. He had no time to relive that moment as Sulu stood. “Olsen had the charges.”

 

Jim looked at him and stood on shaking legs. “I know.” the gears turned in his brain as he walked over to where he had knocked the Romulan weapons. 

 

Sulu looked at him and frowned. “So what do we do?”

 

Jim picked up the weapons and tossed one to Sulu. “You shoot with this.” 

 

They powered up the weapons and started to shoot at the drill.

 

It sparked and flared. Something whizzed by their heads. 

 

“Kirk to Enterprise, They just shot something down to the planet.” there was a pause. “You hear me Enterprise?”

 

“Yes Sir.”

 

There was an impact with the object into the very depths of Vulcan. Jim wanted to have time to actually take in the surroundings of the planet below, but understood they didn’t have much time.

 

Jim looked to Sulu and sighed. “Hey Enterprise beam us outta here.”

 

“Locking onto your signals.”

 

The platform quaked and Kirk had to fix his footing. 

 

“KIRK!” Jim had whipped his head around. Sulu had fallen off. 

 

“Don’t move I can’t lock onto you--” Fuck that.

 

Jim’s eyes widened. “Sulu.”

 

Jim scrambled to the edge and launched himself off the platform in hopes that he could get to Sulu. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't that a fun thing. Next chapter is in Uhura's Perspective. 
> 
> Uhura needs more of everything. She is a brilliant character in TOS and deserved more in AOS.


	11. Stubborn. Irritating. Independent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhura loves her friends, but they are Disasters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *finger guns* Chapter 11

“KIRK TO ENTERPRISE!” 

Nyota jumped up and with a soft breath said, “Jim.” 

“Enterprise we are falling without a ‘chute. Enterprise please.”

Uhura thought she almost heard him sob. Maybe she heard wrong. 

“I can’t lock onto them they are moving too fast,” said a woman’s voice. 

Chekov’s head perked up. “I can do dat!” he shouted.

“Doctor McCoy,” Uhura called down to the medbay. “You’ll have to prepare for two more-” She paused and pierced her lip as Chekov hopped up from the conn shouting and running off out of the bridge. “Just prepare for more.” 

“Bones. Uhura.” it was just a breath over the whipping wind of decent. 

Uhura shut her eyes and bit her lower lip. She couldn’t stand by. She stood up and ran to the lift. “Take over for me.”

“Where are you going?” Someone asked her. 

“A friend needs me.” She ran down to the transporter room a fire in her eyes. 

“BEAM US OUT!” she heard Jim’s voice the moment she walked through the doors. Chekov looked at her for a small moment before scrambling his fingers on the controls.

Uhura took in a deep breath and stared at the transporter pad.

Kirk’s voice cracked. “ENTERPRISE!” it shook and wavered. 

Uhura stared at the transporter she took in a deep breath and held it. 

Chekov tapped many things on the controls. “Hang on. Hang on!”

“NOW! NOW! PLEASE!”

Uhura curled her hands into fists. 

“Uhura,” another small whisper against the whipping wind. 

Chekov glanced at her briefly. “Hold on!”

Uhura breathed in. “He is working on getting you, Jim. I’m here.” 

“Gravitational pull… and,” Chekov grinned and slammed his hand down. He cheered and grinned wide while clapping his hands.

Jim and Sulu fell with a splat onto the Transporter floor, Jim was shaking and Clutching Sulu tightly. 

Uhura ran over and gripped Jim’s face. It was slightly wet and Uhura smiled softly. “Hey, Farm Boy.”

Jim looked at her and untangled himself from Sulu and hugged her tight. 

“Thanks,” said Sulu gently patting Jim’s head as he hopped down from the pad.

Jim pulled back from Uhura. “No Problem.” he smiled and slowly got off the pad. Uhura had to pretend she didn’t have to help him off.

It went quiet as the doors open to show Spock. “Clear the pad.” he climbed onto the pad and bent his knees. “I’m beaming down.” 

Stubborn Vulcan, Uhura narrowed her eyes slightly at Spock, “Excuse me? You are not beaming down to Vulcan.”

Jim blinked. “Spock, you can’t do th-”

Spock looked at them then to Chekov who was standing by. “Energize.” 

“Spock!” called Uhura and Jim. 

Their cries fell on deaf ears as Spock beamed down to the planet Vulcan.

After a few seconds of silence and staring at the empty pad like Spock was going to magically beam back into existence. Kirk looked at Uhura and raised a brow. “I honestly can't believe you dated him.”

“I can’t believe you want to date him.” Uhura shook her head and sighed heavily. “Now he is the best friend I can’t get rid of.” she glanced at Jim and elbowed him. “You and Mr. Sulu report to sickbay.”

Jim’s eyes darkened for a moment. 

Nyota put a hand on him. “Doctor McCoy, will be expecting you.”

Jim’s eyes lit back up, but he glanced away. “Doctor McCoy will have to wait.” he paused, bit his lower lip, and sat down on the floor. He hissed and clutched his hand to himself. 

Uhura frowned. “Jim, don’t be stubborn you're injured.” she kneeled next to him. Jim was just as stubborn as Spock. Uhura wondered why she hadn’t gotten them together before. Right, because Spock was content to watch from afar and only help when Jim was shoved into some bushes or disrupting the quiet of the observatory. Still it was sweet of him to spend that time in the Library with Jim.

“There are going to be more injured people so I'd rather go see McCoy with them.” He looked at her and pressed his lips together. “I'll wait here you should go back up to the bridge.”

While it was true she should return to her station, she stared at Jim, and narrowed her eyes. “Jim.” Stubborn. Irritating. Independent. Jim. She was surrounded by disasters as friends. 

She loved her friends.

“Take Sulu, I’ll sit here with,” Jim glanced over at Chekov and squinted at him. “I didn’t catch you-” he hissed and shrank in on himself. 

Uhura didn’t miss Jim’s lack of ability to bend his fingers, nor did she miss the tears that slid down his face.

Chekov jumped and frowned. “Pavel Chekov. Are you okay?”

“Chekov, when Spock comes back aboard escort Cadet Kirk to Sickbay.” Uhura groaned, She shook her head, and looked to Sulu. “Sickbay. Come on.” 

Chekov nodded and Sulu followed after her as she left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I'd like to say this now. Amanda does not die.


	12. Watch Your Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim stubbornly waits for Spock to be beamed back aboard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 12! *finger guns* Enjoy the chapter

Jim sat mostly hunched over, the adrenaline he had been running on was dying, and his body was screaming in pain. He couldn’t bend his fingers, could feel pain blooming in various places, and yet he stayed curled against the far wall glaring at the transporter pad. 

It had only been a few minutes since Spock had beamed down, the planet had seconds till a black hole swallowed it up, and take almost everyone with it. Many Vulcans had beamed up from the planet in evacuation, many of them had gone past Jim, and been lead to sickbay. 

Jim thought that Bones must really be busy. Another reason for him to avoid the doctor’s wrath for at least a few more seconds. Maybe he’d skip going to see the doctor all together. 

“Spock to the Enterprise. Beam us up now!”

Jim whipped his head up far too quickly as he began to feel dizzy. 

“Don’t move,” said Chekov as he fumbled with buttons and dials. “Locking on and preparing to beam up.”

Jim glanced at Chekov, rolled his head into his knees, and faced the transporter pad as the countdown to beam up began. 

Chekov was an interesting ensin and reminded Jim of a younger version of himself. A version that never went to Tarsus. Who never lost Sam. Someone with a wild energy and big dreams. He’d make a good First Officer one day, thought Jim. 

Jim felt his heart hammer in his chest when Chekov reached one and screeched. Jim’s attention turned to him. He could not tell what kind of screech it was, until Chekov twirled around, and clapped his hands. “I’m doing two for two today!” shouted the ensin with a big grin on his face. 

“Cadet Kirk, you are injured.” 

Jim turned his head far too quickly and blinked. Standing on the transporter pad were various Vulcans, Spock, and an older human woman who clung to Spock’s arm with a set of wide eyes.

Spock looked down at Kirk with drawn together brows. 

The woman gave glances between Spock and Jim, looking confused, for a fraction of time, before giving a motherly look to Spock. 

Jim remembered the look his mother often gave him when there was a woman or a man who surfaced from Jim’s room back home. Not that anything happened behind his bedroom doors. “It… was logical? To wait for you to come back on board before I went to sickbay?” He wasn’t going to go to sickbay, and he wanted to make sure Spock would come back safe.

"That is very illogical you are injured." Jim tilted his head as Spock kneeled in front of him and raised a brow. "Do you require assistance to stand?"

Jim shook his head and attempted to get up. He grunted and hissed in pain as he pressed his many aching and likely broken joints into each other, and waved Spock off of him as the Vulcan tried to assist. 

Spock stood tall and stayed where he was as Jim struggled to stand. 

When Jim was on his feet he swayed, and grinned at Spock. “See? Didn’t need your assist-” he took one step and fell into Spock making motions to grab onto anything he could. In this case it was a fist full of Spock’s uniform, and the Vulcan’s hand.

Spock’s eyes went wide as he hooked his arms around the human. Dislodging Jim from the Vulcan’s hand. 

Rude. Jim was using that to stay up.

Spock cleared his throat. “Ensin Chekov, it is important that you help the Cadet to sickbay.”

“ ‘m fi’ne,” said Kirk as he dragged himself back up to his feet. He paused and looked up at Spock. “Our earlier conversations are not done.” 

Spock stared at Jim and raised an eyebrow. “Take the Cadet and the others to sickbay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter is Leonard's POV


	13. The Worst Patient

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard has to deal with the worst patient ever. Jim Kirk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *finger guns* I'm actually pretty tired today and right now whoops. 
> 
> Anywho here is chapter 13

“Dammit Jim.” McCoy fixed Jim with the dirtiest look possible. “Are you proud of yourself, Kid?” He pressed portions of Jim’s hand having the other scream and twitch away. Various Vulcans were being patched up by nurses and medical officers alike. 

Jim was just the worst patient in the world. He had refused for Leonard to even remotely get near him with the regenerator and it took a lot of coaxing just to get the first round of hypos into him. Granted Leonard was being extra careful with the use of hypos. 

Jim glared at him and grunted as he was injected with a few more hypos to deal with the pain. “Come on, Bones,” groaned Jim with a roll of his eyes. 

Leonard narrowed his eyes and stuck Jim with another hypo. 

Jim yelped and smacked his hand over the shot. 

“I’ll have a nurse wrap up those hands of yours.” Leonard gave him a grin and patted his shoulder. The wrapping was just for aesthetic reasons really. He handed the nurse an extra hypo. “In case of allergic reaction.” He told her.

Leonard had another human patient he had to mother over. He sighed heavily and rubbed the back of his neck, then walked over to a human woman and a Vulcan man. “I heard you hurt your ankle miss?”

Leonard watched her eyes travel from Jim to himself. “Amanda Grayson.” she smiled at him. 

He nodded at her and gave her a smile. “I’m Doctor McCoy. I was informed you almost didn’t make it here.”

Amanda smiled at him and tilted her head. “I’m glad I could make it aboard with my husband.” she looked to the Vulcan man who stood tall and unmoving. Almost unmoving the two shared in the soft touch of extended index and middle fingers. 

Leonard raised an eyebrow at it. He shook his head. “So about that ankle,” he smiled at her and grabbed a hypo. “This should help with the pain and fix any muscle strain or fractures.” He gave the shot to her.

“That cadet,” the Vulcan man piped up and his eyes were focused on Jim. 

McCoy didn’t have to turn his head to know Jim was likely doing something stupid, maybe sticking out his tongue at Nurse Chapel, and trying to get out of having his wounds taken care of. “Cadet Kirk?” Leonard wanted to clarify. 

“Don’t bother with that now, Sarek.” Amanda patted Sarek and smiled. 

Leonard raised a brow and jumped when someone came over and patted him on the back. “Heyyyyy!” 

McCoy groaned and turned his head to look at Jim who placed his chin on Leonard’s shoulder. He pretended he didn’t feel his heart hammer against his chest.

“Hey, Bones, Spock said he wants us up on the bridge when you’re done here.” Jim grinned wide. 

“Don’t be too much of a pain in the ass, Jimbo.” 

Jim fake gasped and smirked. “I’m a treasure, howdare.” 

He rolled his eyes and let out a noise between a chuckle and a scoff, “A treasure?” 

Jim smirked, a spark in his hazel eyes, “A treasure, Bones,” purred the younger. 

Leonard shrugged him off and looked to Amanda and Sarek who were just staring at them. It felt creepy in a way and McCoy cleared his throat. “I’ll have nurse Chapel come by and help out in any way she can.” 

Leonard and Jim made their way out of medical bay and wandered toward the nearest turbo lift.

Jim leaned against him and sighed heavily. “Hey, Bones?”

Leonard glanced over to him while they walked to the lift and released a sigh. “What, kid?” 

Something shifted on the younger’s face and he squeezed Leonard’s arm. “I thought I was never gonna see you again.” 

Leonard swallowed thickly and willed his feet to keep moving.

“Good to know I can continue to be a pain in your ass huh?” The smile Jim gave didn’t reach his eyes.

Leonard slid his eyes closed and enjoyed the weight of Jim against his arm and side. “I thought you were a treasure.” 

Jim released a laugh. “A treasure.” there was a pause as they entered the lift. “Love you, Bones.” It sounded different from all the times before Jim had said he platonically adored his best friend, but Leonard simply brushed it off and leaned into Jim. 

“Glad you didn’t die, Kid.” 

Jim’s fingers slid into Leonards and they stayed like that until the doors opened to the bridge.

When Jim pulled back Leonard felt his heart squeeze in his chest and he released a sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Spock's point of view.
> 
> also feel free to point out anything I need to edit.


	14. Focus on Logic. Not Hands.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock finds himself lost in thought and these are not the kind of thoughts he wants to focus on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm uploading two chapters today. HERE is some Spock pov. 
> 
> I don't think I have any warnings for this episode? only that Spock is Gay AF

Jim leaned back in the Captain’s chair, his legs propped up, and his eyes followed Spock. He so casually commented, “We should go after Nero and get Pike back. He is likely going to be going after a Federation planet which means earth might be next.”

 

Spock found it ~~charming~~ _ annoying _  that the Cadet was making himself comfortable in the chair. Spock mentally mused that he looked much better than he had when he was slumped over himself in the transporter room. “Out of the chair, Cadet,” said Spock as he crossed his arms behind his back and stood tall. 

 

Jim looked up at Spock with a challenging spark. 

 

Spock felt much of the same emotional slurry in his head as he had when arguing with the Cadet earlier. _Irritating_.

 

Jim tilted his head and purred, “Make me.” It lacked any actual bite and almost sounded playful. 

 

Spock raised an eyebrow. He is a Vulcan. These emotional and physical responses are illogical. His heart should not be pounding against his side and heat should not be rising to his face. Spock shifted and straightened his back out before he said, “If I am to quote Doctor McCoy-” 

 

McCoy had perked his head up, looked to Spock then to Jim, and nodded at the Cadet. “Outta the chair, Kid.” That southern drawl should also not be affecting Spock, but it does.

 

Jim held his hands up and got up out of the chair. 

 

_Fascinating_ , thought Spock, _he listened to the Doctor_. 

 

Spock watched as Jim strolled around to lean against a bar for support or perhaps it was to just stand there and look pretty. Not that Spock thought the annoying man was pretty. 

 

Even as Jim settled back with a smirk and said, “Again, Nero is going to go after Federation  planets.” Definitely not pretty.

 

Chekov rolled his shoulders and drew his brows together. “Then why was earth not attacked first if they are after the Federation?”

 

Sulu scoffed from his spot at the conn. “Why waste the weapons?” 

 

Spock blinked a few times and pressed his lips together. Nero had wanted Spock personally to see the destruction of… He didn’t want to think on the destruction of Vulcan. Not with the way it made his heart squeeze and his eyes burn. “Not a possibility.” He shrank slightly when almost all eyes landed on him. Spock held his head up and shifted his body. He said, “He wanted me to see the destruction of my home planet.”

 

McCoy exhaled a deep breath. 

 

Spock glanced at him. “Do you have anything to provide, Doctor?” 

 

McCoy looked to Spock before straightening up. He walked over to Jim and nudged him over. “How the hell did they destroy Vulcan?” 

 

Spock twitched slightly and chewed on his lower lip. He watched as Jim elbowed the Doctor with a smile. 

 

McCoy had rolled his eyes, but leaned into Jim with a heavy sigh. They looked quite comfortable together and Spock found himself wondering what it would be like to not watch them, but give into the human need of companionship. How it would feel to cuddle up between them.

 

Uhura sighed from her spot at her station which broke Spock out of that thought.  

 

Spock turned to look at her. 

 

Uhura looked around at everyone then to Spock. “Where could they have gotten those weapons?” 

 

McCoy snapped and pointed at her. “Exactly.” Rude, adorable, no rude. Annoying. Both Jim’s smiling face and the Doctor’s ease to slide into the roll of bodily comfort. 

 

Spock looked around and found his fingers tracing his own hairline. He pulled his hand behind his back. “It's quite possible that eventually engineers can artificially manufacture something that will create a black hole.”  He paced in a circle and took in a deep breath. Looked anywhere but at the Doctor and Jim. “Such matter could be manipulated to create a tunnel through space.” He paused and looked at the Doctor, Uhura, and Jim. Even though he told himself he wasn’t going to focus on the way Jim leaned so heavily on the Doctor and the Doctor seemed so lax with the casual touch. 

 

Jim looked at Spock with an attentiveness, his head leaned forward, and his eyes locked on Spock. The stare stirred his guts around.

 

Uhura had her head tilted slightly, but had nodded in understanding. Spock was glad to have her as a friend.

 

While the Doctor stood with an open mouth and a raised brow. “I'm a doctor, not a physicist,” McCoy ran a hand through his hair and took in a deep breath. Spock’s eyes didn’t miss the way Jim reached out and gently rubbed circles in the Doctor’s back. “You’re suggesting that they are from the future?” 

 

“Ever the optimist, Bones,” said Jim with a smirk that made Spock’s stomach churn in some unknown way.

 

Spock cleared his throat. “If you remove the impossible all that remains will be the truth; however, it is illogical.” Illogical like the slurry of wanting to see if the Doctor’s hair is actually that fluffy or wanting to see if Jim’s hair would be soft or spiky. 

 

McCoy narrowed his eyes at Spock. This also seemed to make the Vulcan’s guts churn. “Philosophical.”

 

Jim moved again standing with his hands parallel. “Let’s say they are from the future,” he looked at Spock, his fingers twitching slightly, “what would angry future Romulans want with Captain Pike?”

 

Spock pulled his stoic Vulcan mask back on as he thought. Thought about what they would want with Pike. If Nero even understood events. Perhaps an alternate reality? Focusing on those thoughts and not the occasional, I wonder what Jim’s hands would feel like to hold. Would they be soft or calloused? Would the Doctor’s hands be calloused from frequent use of utensils? He needed to focus on the situation and less on the differences in human hands. 

 

Sulu piped up, “As a Captain he has details about many of starfleet’s defenses.”

 

Jim snapped his fingers in Sulu’s direction. “Again, we need to catch up with that ship, disable it, take over, and get Pike back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is in Jim's POV c:


	15. We Have Not Done That Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim gets tossed out of the Enterprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Spock Prime in this chapter. 
> 
> I was actually excited for this chapter haha.

“Absolutely not.” Spock’s voice intruded into Jim’s metaphorical bubble of confidence.

Jim stiffened and made eye contact with the half vulcan. “Thought you were gung ho with my plans.”

Spock stared coldly at Jim, it made a shiver travel up, and down his spine. “We are outmatched in every technological way.” Spock stood with his back straight and shifted slightly. “A rescue attempt is illogical.”

Jim swayed on his feet for a small amount of time. “Nero’s ship would have to drop out of warp for us to take over,” said Chekov with a frown. His fingers resting curled together on the conn. 

Jim chewed the skin on his lip. “We could get engineering crews working on boosting the warp gear.”

Spock’s voice bursted the forming bubble. “We have all our remaining crewmembers and power repairing radiation leaks in the lower decks.”

Jim frowned and glanced at Spock. “We could,” he drew his eyebrows down and bit his lower lip. “We could find some other…”

Spock did not waver to Jim’s pleading, simply lowered his gaze, and flicked his eyes away from Jim. “The logical thing to do is to meet with Starfleet and balance the terms of the next engagement.”

Jim felt his blood boil. “It is going to be too late by then, Spock.” 

Spock looked back at him with an almost glare. 

Bones slid up behind Jim. “Jim.”

Jim held his hands up and shut his eyes. He took a deep breath and when he opened his eyes they were burning. “Since you love logic so much,” he hoped his voice carried just enough bite as he slammed his hands back down to his sides and took a step forward. “Logically if this guy is from the future we should be doing something unpredictable.”

Uhura stood at her station and looked from Jim to Spock.

Spock tucked his arms behind his back and pressed his lips together. “You are assuming that Nero knows the events that will unfold here today; however, the very fact that he is here has altered events.”

Uhura continued to stare at Spock with drawn down eyebrows. “An alternate reality.”

Spock turned to her as the bridge doors opened and Amanda and Sarek entered. They stood back to observe. Amanda was smiling and glancing from Jim to her son. 

“Exactly; Whatever our lives were meant to be, if the continuum was disrupted, it would have altered our destinies.” Spock sank into the Captain’s chair and turned his head to Sulu. “Mr. Sulu, plot a course to the Laurentian system warp factor three.”

Jim tensed and curled his hands into fists. He felt McCoy’s hand at the base of his spine, a gentle touch to calm, and it wasn’t calming. “Kid,” hissed McCoy.

Jim jerked away from Bones. “Spock,” he hissed, advancing closer to the acting Captain, “Don’t. Just don’t. Running back to starfleet?” He flapped his hands about and let out a sharp wheezing laugh. “It’s a huge waste of time.”

Spock raised a brow at Jim. “The orders I received…”

Jim was standing in front of Spock now, he slammed his hands down on the edges of the chair, leaned down, and got into Spock’s personal space. “Pike ordered us to go back and get him.” Up this close he could see the shift in Spock’s brown eyes, the hidden green blush on his cheeks, and the raw emotions that just swirled under a carefully placed mask. “You’re the Captain,” growled Kirk. He made sure to keep eye contact with Spock. “You’re the Captain, Spock!” he gave another shallow sharp laugh. “You’ve gotta be...” he broke the eye contact for a short amount of time wondering how this must look to the onlookers of the bridge. 

Spock’s words made him look back into the Vulcan’s eyes. Raw emotion shook his voice. “I’m aware of my duty to this ship. Of my responsibility.”

“Then why are you going back when we should be going after Nero?” Jim made a point of breathing against Spock’s face. “The longer we sit. The closer he gets to his target.”

The Vulcan’s eyes squinted. “I am instructing you to accept the fact that I-”

“-Fuck the instructions!”

“Jim,” McCoy’s voice, Jim’s focused brain supplied. 

“I’m not. Allowing you to turn back,” growled Jim in Spock’s face. “Instead of hunting down-”

Spock was apparently done indulging in Jim’s emotional responses. “Security escort Cadet Kirk out.” 

Jim jumped as arms scooped below his pits. He struggled, pulled, and elbowed one of the security guards in the face and punched the other. 

“Hey!” the guard who got punched held his face and glared at Kirk. 

Jim grinned wide then frowned as McCoy called his name. He turned to look at the Doctor. 

He remembers a sharp pain across his body and the fall back into someone’s arms. Remembers a woman’s confused words, and McCoy’s pleading. 

He woke in an escape pod the world outside of it was white. He groaned and rubbed his face. “Computer where am I?” 

The Computer responded in a monotone voice. “Delta Vega. Class-M planet. Unsafe. There is a Starfleet outpost fourteen kilometers to the northwest. Remain in your pod until…” Jim gave a choked off laugh and kicked his way out of the pod. He gasped at the world outside crawled its way into his bones. 

“Fuck.” He looked into the pod and sighed. He found it at least helpful that there was a heavy winter coat and supplies. Even a communicator had been thrown in. “At least I can make a log on that stupid hot pointy eared bastard.” he laughed a little. “God I sound like, Bones.” he felt a small ache in his heart. He willed it away with the thought of survival and the hope that he’d see Bones again. 

Jim stumbled away from the pod and chose a direction to walk in making comments into the communicator. “Stardate… Stardate twenty-two fifty-eight point four two, four,” he drew his brows down holding himself for a brief moment, “Forty four. I think.” he willed his legs to drag him further. He regretted not getting a full sleep, and being sedated and knocked out hadn’t done his system any wonders. “Mister Acting Captain hot pants,” he smirked and chuckled. “Has thrown me out of his ship and onto Delta Vega. For someone who is all gung ho about logic and following rules… this is a violation of security protocol forty-nine point oh nine. Treatment of prisoners aboard a starship.” 

The whipping wind picked up and Kirk swore he felt the ground rumble beneath his feet. Something compelled him to look off toward the side where his eyes met with a very large and extra territorial looking creature. “Fuck.” he hissed pocketed the communicator and made a run for it. Attempting to escape the creature that was chasing him. 

“I don’t want to be here as much as you don’t want me here,” shouted Jim as he pushed his body to its physical limits. “If Bones were here he’d say ‘Dammit Jim! Why are you trying to communicate with it just run.’” he slid in the snow and yelped. A much larger creature tackled the small one and gobbled them up.

Jim wheezed and shook. He tried to rise again but hissed as his ankle gave out under him. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” he shut his eyes up tight as the creature turned its attention to Jim. “FUCK!”

Jim was prepared to feel the release of death as the creature let out a roar. Until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He cracked his eye open and saw a man shouting and waving a torch at the creature. 

The creature slinked away uninterested and frightened by the light. 

The stranger squeezed Jim’s shoulder and Jim looked up at him. “James T. Kirk?”

Jim drew his eyebrows down and frowned. “Huh?”

The man lowered his scarf and almost seemed to smile. “How did you find me?”

Jim tilted his head and hissed as he tried to rise from the ground. The stranger grabbed Jim’s arm and helped him rise. “Do… Do I know you?” asked Jim as he leaned against the elder for support. 

The man definitely was smiling slightly as he pulled his hood back. “I have and always will be your friend.” his hood was fully drawn away from his face. Jim could clearly see he was Vulcan.

Jim squinted and raised a brow. “Look I have a really great facial memory, but I have no idea who you are.”

The elder gripped Jim’s arm and seemed to give a chuckle. “I am Spock.” 

Jim jumped, regretted it as it put unwanted pressure on his ankle, and he squinted at the older Vulcan’s face. “Bullcrap.”

“Let’s get you out of this weather.” 

The Vulcan helped Jim to a nearby cave, where he set Jim down, and then he started a fire. “It’s pleasing to see you again, old friend,” the stranger looked up at Jim and definitely gave him a small smile that did not reach his eyes, “After today… I could use an old face.”

Jim stared at him with a raised brow still trying to process the entire thing. This couldn’t be Spock, he was smiling, slightly, and he was gently touching Jim’s ankle. “I really appreciate this, sir, but if you are really Spock,” He hissed lightly and jerked his ankle back from the man’s hold. “I can’t even get him to look twice at me, we aren’t friends yet, and he literally just threw me out onto this planet for mutiny.” He blushed and hid his face in his hands. “Also I literally just trapped him in the captain’s seat while screaming in his face.”

“I am certain he did not dislike this.” The older man, Jim was just going to call him Spock Prime, gently touched Jim’s ankle again to get Jim to look at him. “What is this about Mutiny?”

Jim slid his hands down from his face and looked at Spock Prime. Jim swallowed slowly. “I went against orders.”

Jim looked into the other’s eyes. They held confusion. “You are not the captain?” asked Spock Prime as he dug for something in Jim’s bag. A small medkit. 

Jim smiled at the thought of Bones possibly throwing one into the escape pod, but they probably just came with those. He scooted closer to the fire, much to a low noise coming from Prime who looked like he was about to wrap Jim’s ankle up.

“No.” Jim looked to the olderman and extended his leg. “I believe you are Spock… You’re the Captain right now.” Jim focused on the fire and rubbed his knuckle. “Pike got caught.”

“By Nero.” Spock Prime released a soft breath gently rolling up Jim’s pant leg and sliding off the boot. 

Jim wondered who taught Spock Prime to wrap up sprained or strained joints. “Who taught…” he stopped and instead he asked, “What do you know about him?” 

Spock Prime’s gaze flickered up to Jim’s face. “Which would you want me to answer?” 

Jim stared into the older man’s eyes and bit his lower lip. 

“The Doctor.” Spock Prime broke eye contact and sighed heavily. “Would teach me how to tend to small injuries for my Jim.” He finished wrapping up the ankle and moved closer to Jim. “Nero is a very troubled Romulan.” 

Jim swallowed and blinked as the Vulcan held up his hand to Jim’s face. “What are you doing?”

Spock Prime lowered the hand. “It would be easiest to show you… If you’d allow it.” 

Jim stared at the hand. “What is it?”

“I’d be linking our minds.” Spock Prime leaned in. “Our minds would be one.”

Jim licked his lips a little. “Fuck it, Yeah I want to see this.” 

Spock Prime gently placed his fingers along Jim’s face. “Melding points,” supplied the elder. “Our minds are one.”

Jim gasped out loud and curled his fingers into the other man’s coat; shutting his eyes up tight. As the world faded around them.

The display played with Spock Prime’s soothing voice allowing him to feel calm in the transfer of memories of Nero. The planet Romulus. Spock’s feeling of pain. Sorrow that he was unable to help and get there in time. 

The Black Hole. Nero taking his ship.   
The torture of being unable to do anything as Vulcan was destroyed. Being stranded on a planet. Loss. A very old human man bedridden. His hands shaking as he held a shot of something that looked like bourbon. A holovideo playing next to his bedside. Jim could tell he wasn’t meant to see that as Spock Prime pulled his hand back. “Billions of lives lost, because of me, Jim. Because, I failed.”

Jim sobbed and gripped onto Spock Prime tightly. “Emotional transference-”

Jim shook and sobbed heavily into Spock’s coat. There was confusion. So many emotions rolling through his head all at once, Emotions left over that weren’t his, then there were lips on his, and he snapped back all at once. 

A wide set of eyes. Jim’s hands flapped about as he pushed once at Spock Prime, at first not wanting to break them apart, but then he pushed hard. He breathed hard and looked at Spock Prime. 

The elder stared at Jim with confusion and wide brown eyes. Before he shook his head, took in Jim’s appearance, and turned his head toward the fire. “We have not done that before.” 

“You…” Jim couldn’t think couldn’t do much. Just stared at Spock Prime. 

Spock prime swallowed slowly. “I apologise. There was a moment.” 

Jim stared at this Spock and frowned. “So you… you really do have feelings.” He wanted to make this light. Wanted to get the moment over with and put away. 

Spock Prime looked at him with almost broken eyes. “Of course I feel. I have feelings.”

Jim frowned and curled his fingers up against the sleeves of his jacket. “Going back in time… has really changed things hasn't it.”

Spock Prime raised from the floor of the cave and looked to Jim with a Vulcan mask on. “There is a starfleet base not far from here, Jim, we should get you ther-” 

“In your reality,” started Jim as he curled his fingers tighter around the fabric, “Did I know my dad? Did… Did he accept me?” Jim opened his eyes to look at Spock Prime. 

The elder looked down at Jim and glanced away. “You spoke of your father often.” there was a pause. “You said he was your inspiration for joining Starfleet.”

Jim stood up slowly, and released a breath. In a way George Kirk was still an inspiration to be in Starfleet.

“He was very proud of you. He was very proud of his Son.” Spock Prime glanced at Jim again. “He lived to see you become Captain of the Enterprise.” something lit up in the elder’s eyes. 

Jim gave a small smile. “Captain?” he tilted his head.   
The elder grabbed a hold of Jim’s arm. “It is a ship we need to get you back to.”

“Please, yes, Bones is going to be very pissed with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 16 will be from Leonard's POV I'm also very excited for that chapter.


	16. Southern Metaphors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard has a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 16! *finger guns*

McCoy chewed on his fingers as he grumbled. He wasn’t happy with the Hobgoblin. Did Jim really need to be thrown out onto a death planet? Acting Captain hot pants- Leonard shook his head and made a face. The Vulcan was not hot. Not in the slightest.

 

He entered the bridge and released a growl. He put on a serious face and took a step out of the lift. 

 

“Course one-five-one-mark-three, Laurentian system, sir,” chirped Chekov, the kid was just doing his job, and his chipper voice was something that brought little light to a dull situation. 

 

The dull situation that had been Jim’s body falling limp onto the floor of the bridge. The situation of Jim being shoved into an escape pod. The situation of Amanda Grayson putting her hands on her hips and narrowing her eyes at Spock. 

 

Of Spock apologizing to Sarek for ‘emotionalism’. Leonard would never understand Vulcans. 

 

Amanda. Amanda he could understand. She was a mother. A mother Leonard would be fearful of if she wasn’t also such a sweet patient. It made him miss his own mother, but thinking about that too much would lead to a shit storm of stuff he’d rather not bring to the forefront.

 

McCoy paused before he approached Spock. Tried to clear his head of his thoughts. He stood tall and asked, “You wanted to see me?” A thick drawl crept into his voice.

 

Spock turned to look at McCoy. “Doctor,” the Vulcan paused.

 

McCoy smirked slightly, this was going to be good. 

 

“I’m aware you are Jim Kirk’s...” Spock paused again as if searching for the right words.

 

McCoy could almost see the gears turning and sparking in the Vulcan’s eyes. He raised a brow and crossed his arms. This better be good.

 

Spock was choosing his words carefully. “I’m aware Jim Kirk is a lover to you-”

 

Uhura made a choked off noise. 

 

No one else’s noise could rival the one that crept out of Leonard’s throat, and the heat that burned on his face. Jim is his _best_ _friend_. 

 

“-I understand how supporting me must have been difficult.” Spock finished his sentence. He pressed his lips together and cleared his throat. 

 

McCoy stood tall and tilted his head. “Is that a thank you?”

 

Spock tilted his head slightly to the right and blinked. “It was simply an acknowledgement to your difficulties on the situation.”

 

McCoy shifted and jutted a hip out. “Permission to speak freely?”

 

Spock nodded. “I welcome it.”

 

Leonard gave a sweet smile. “Good, good.” He grabbed a hold of Spock’s Captain’s chair and leaned in much the same way Jim had done earlier. “Are you out of yer goddamn Vulcan mind?” He held a finger up to Spock’s lips and shook his head. “No. I’m talking. You accepted this.” He took a deep breath and stared into Spock’s eyes. They were beautiful eyes. He growled lowly. “Are y’all makin’ a logical decision for sendin’ my  _ not lover  _ Jim Kirk away? Probably; Is it the right one?” He kept his finger on Spock’s mouth to keep him from talking. “Y’aint. You know, back home we got a saying, "If you're gonna ride in the Kentucky Derby, you don't leave your prize stallion in the stable." Jim’s a lot a things, Annoyin’-” Charming. Beautiful. Funny when he wants to be. Studious. 

 

Spock spoke even with the finger trying to hush him. “A curious metaphor, Doctor, as a stallion must first be broken before it can reach its potential.” 

 

Jim was all types of broken that this Hobgoblin didn’t know or maybe he did know. Considering he is the only damn Vulcan with a black commander’s uniform. McCoy’s eyes burned and he bracketed his arms against the arms of the chair. “You could at least act like it was a hard decision.”

 

Spock stare wavered and he put his hands in his lap. “I intend to assist in the effort to re-establish communication with Starfleet.” He gently tapped McCoy’s arms. “If crew morale was better served by my roaming the halls weeping, I will gladly defer to your medical expertise.”

 

Leonard growled again. Didn’t know whether to punch the Captain or come up with a snide remark on how that almost sounded like an attitude. 

 

The Lift doors opened. 

 

McCoy looked up and pushed himself away from the chair and out of the position he was in before. 

 

Amanda and Sarek walked once again onto the Bridge. “I’m just saying-” Amanda looked into the center of the room and cleared her throat. While Sarek showed nothing. 

 

Spock looked to his parents and rose from the chair, he dusted himself off, and walked over to them. “If you excuse me.”

 

Amanda offered a small smile to Leonard and he gave her a wave as she exited the bridge with her son and husband. 

 

Uhura openly laughed when Spock was no longer on the bridge. “When are you and Jim going to be lovers?” 

 

“Shut-” he whipped his head around to glare at her before he took a deep breath. “I’m not upset with you. I’m upset with that  _ Hobgoblin _ .” Leonard held up his hands and sighed. He walked over to Uhura and slumped into her station. 

 

“I’m sorry, Leonard,” Uhura patted him softly.

 

McCoy leaned into her touch and sighed heavily. “I’m not in love with, Jim.”

 

Uhura looked at him with soft eyes and frowned. “Spock doesn’t see the differences between platonic touches or romantic touches,” she pressed her lips together, “but you have to admit...”

 

McCoy looked at her and crossed his arms. “What do I have to admit?”

 

Uhura smiled softly at him. “You and Jim have been long past the line of your platonic relationship. To the point you both are blind to it.”

 

McCoy frowned and looked away from her. “I don’t love him.”

 

Spock walked back onto the bridge and stiffly sat in his chair. 

 

Maybe he got an earful from Amanda again or perhaps another apology for showing emotions.

 

An alarm sounded and Chekov jumped and squealed. “Uh… Keptain!” 

 

McCoy turned his head to stare at Chekov. What was going on?

 

“Unauthorized access to water turbine control board.” the young boy swallowed and fiddled with his fingers. 

 

Spock blinked and turned to the boy. “Put it on screen.”

 

Chekov nodded and pulled up the video screen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. The next chapter is in Spock's POV! and lord knows when that is going to come I might post it tonight tbh.


	17. Emotionalism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock gets emotionally compromised

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Some Swearing in this chapter. 
> 
> Enjoy.

“Son of a bitch,” said McCoy. Spock looked back at him to see the Doctor’s gaze being held by the view screen. It looked like something had lit up in those strikingly blue eyes.  

 

Spock turned to the view screen himself and inhaled sharply. His eyes widened and he sat up straight. His heart hammered in his side and he took in another deep breath before he called Security. “Seal off engineering, we have intruders. Phasers to stun. Water turbine section three.” 

 

Spock wouldn’t have believed it if it wasn’t on the screens. Jim Kirk. Devilished and limping. Helping a soaked man up off the floor of the engineering room. He could almost feel his blood boiling with- He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and rose from the seat. “Doctor McCoy, don’t you have elsewhere to be?”

 

McCoy looked at Spock and frowned. “I think it’d be logical for me to stay on the bridge with y’all.”

 

Spock opened his mouth and sent an icy stare.

 

Uhura stood and said, “It would be very logical. Seeing a familiar face might make Cadet Kirk more cooperative.” 

 

She was Spock’s friend, he took in a deep breath. “Very well,” said Spock. Uhura had never lead him astray. There was no logical reason to not believe her.  

 

The bridge doors opened and Spock was greeted by a rumpled mop of Jim’s hair and a pointed glare. Spock didn’t address Kirk at first, but turned to the soaked stranger dripping fluids onto the bridge floor. “Who are you?” 

 

The man opened his mouth and looked to Kirk, Kirk looked at him, and then the man closed his mouth. “He is with me,” said Kirk with a smirk. 

 

It made Spock inhale a sharp breath. “I’m with him,” said the stranger an accent present on his tongue. It took Spock point two seconds to pinpoint it as Scottish. 

 

Spock narrowed his eyes and shifted to look at Jim. 

 

Jim was not looking at Spock. When Spock followed the man’s gaze he found it was on the Doctor. “Mister Kirk.”

 

Jim’s eyes darkened, it made Spock’s stomach sink,  Jim moved slowly to stare at Spock, and then tilted his head in defiance. 

 

“We are traveling warp speed. How did you come aboard?” His stomach felt of led and his brain worked in overdrive trying to logically explain the cause. While his emotions churned and rolled around under his skin. 

 

Jim’s voice was deep, “You’re smart, Spock, figure it out in that big brain of yours.” 

 

Spock pulled the corners of his lips back. “As acting Captain, I order you to answer.” 

 

Jim’s answer was a smirk and a laugh. It was illogical that a small motion could make his guts churn and tighten. “I’m not telling.” There was a small pause as Jim leaned forward into Spock and grinned wider. “Acting Captain.”

 

Spock’s skin boiled, There was a spark in Jim’s eyes, and Spock figured Jim wanted an emotional response. He took a deep breath and exhaled. 

 

“Nothing?” Jim pulled his eyebrows down and scowled. 

 

Spock turned to the stranger in favor of ignoring the churning pits of his stomach. “Are you a member of Starfleet?”

 

The man opened and closed his mouth. “Yes, may I have a towel?” He pressed his lips together and rolled his shoulders. “Please?”

 

Spock stood tall and pulled his arms behind his back. “Under penalty of court martial, I order you to explain to me how you were able to beam aboard this ship while moving at warp.”

 

The man opened his mouth again and was jabbed by Jim.

 

Spock turned his gaze to Jim and narrowed his eyes. 

 

“Don’t answer him.” Jim smirked and raised a brow at Spock. 

 

Spock turned to the man and growled, “You will answer me.” 

 

The dripping stranger looked from Jim to Spock and held up his hands. “I’d rather not pick sides.” He then slowly backed away. 

 

Jim stepped forward and got into Spock’s face again. It was becoming quite annoying to have ~~attractive~~   _annoying_ men in his face. “What is with you Spock?” Jim tilted his head up. 

 

Spock raised a brow. He shifted uncomfortably. 

 

Jim took a deep breath. Spock could see the gears turning and the burning depth of emotion in Jim’s hazel eyes. “Your planet was just destroyed. Your mother was almost murdered,” said Jim without skipping a beat. 

 

Spock stiffened at the mention of almost losing his mother. He curled his fingers into a fist behind his back in a makeshift way to cope. 

 

“Aren’t you just a little upset?” Jim gave a hollow laugh. 

 

Spock took a deep breath. “These do not hinder my abilities to run this ship. I am Vulcan.”

 

Jim smirked, the tightness in Spock’s gut became increasingly uncomfortable. To the point his throat was now feeling choked off. “I thought fear. Was necessary for command.” He pointed at Spock. “Nero. Is running his ship on fear. Do you see how that is going for him? What he did with fear?” 

 

Spock attempted to clear his throat. “Yes.” Nero took lives. Nero almost took Spock’s mother. He took in a deep breath to quell those bubbling feelings and slapped some duct tape over the cracks in his mental barriers. 

 

Jim attempted to be eye level with Spock. “Are you afraid or aren’t you?” 

 

The human half of him wanted to say he was. Wanted to embrace his mother. The Vulcan half pushed all that down. “You will not lecture me,” a pause as Spock took in a sharp breath, “On emotions.”

 

Jim got into Spock’s face, closer, and closer. Until they were nearly touching. “Make Me.”

 

Spock shut his eyes and took a deep breath. “Step away, Mister…”

 

Jim let a breath out on Spock’s face. “Look at me.”

 

The Vulcan snapped his eyes open and narrowed them into the hazel ones inches from his face. It would be easy to shove this human to the floor. It would be easy to close the distance and show Jim how much of a pain in the ass he was.

 

“What is it like to not feel anger? Love? Heartbreak.” There was a strangled noise coming from Kirk’s throat. “To not want to avenge your loved ones.” 

 

Spock took in a deep breath. He did feel. He felt so much and he felt nothing all at the same time it was maddening just like Kirk’s stupid ruffled hair and the Doctor’s Southern drawl. He felt. He felt the maddening scream of many dying vulcan. He felt maddening rolling emotions he could not understand for the man in front of him. “You will back away.” He could not recognize his own voice. How it wavered with the bubbling tar of a human half. 

 

Jim breathed heavy and curled his fists. “You feel nothing,” shouted the human.

 

Spock shut his eyes again. Jim just wanted an emotional response, he kept telling his human side that even as the Vulcan side was slowly losing control over the emotions that ripped at his gut, because God. His Vulcan half also wanted. Wanted to push Jim down and show him just how deeply emotions ran. 

 

“You don’t love anyone,” shouted Jim. “You are incapable of loving anyone,” Did this hurt Jim as much as it was hurting Spock? “You don’t even love your own MOTHER!” Jim’s voice shook. 

 

It didn’t matter, Spock’s eyes snapped open, he found his arm reaching out, and his hand wrapped around Jim’s neck. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to choke the man, cry, or pull him in for a kiss to show him how much he felt. He didn’t want to choke the man. Fear. Sadness. Self Loathing. These emotions rolled off in waves from below Jim’s pulse line as a tanned hand squeezed hard against Spock’s wrist, where more thoughts and feelings joined the ones that hummed under Jim’s skin. Spock wasn’t trying to read them. He did not squeeze Jim’s neck. He felt wetness roll down his face. Fingers lax against the flesh of the Cadet’s neck. “I love my mother. I loved my planet, and I feel so many things, Jim.” A pause. “You should know that already.”

 

Jim inhaled sharply and trembled. Words tumbled out of Jim’s mouth, “Bones. Let go of his wrist.”

 

Spock looked to the doctor who’s eyes were darkened as he applied more pressure to Spock’s wrist. It wouldn’t break anything, but Spock could feel the thrum of the Doctor’s emotions. 

 

“Bones he isn’t choking me. He isn’t choking me, Bones.” Jim’s voice was still rough because Spock had applied some pressure, but not a deadly amount. 

 

The bridge doors opened. Spock glanced over to see his mother standing there with her hands over her mouth. She gasped, “Spock.” 

 

Spock pulled his hand back swiftly, he broke the Doctor’s hold, and looked around at the bridge. All eyes were on him. Many wide and many of the crew were shaking. “I am unfit for duty,” said Spock as he backed away toward the lift doors. “I give up my command. I have been emotionally compromised please forgive me and note the date and time in the ships computers.” He looked down and away. Before he entered the lift. 

 

Spock slid down the wall and scratched his nails against his scalp. It was childhood on Vulcan all over again. It was crawling his way under weighted blankets in a form of comfort, and scratching into his hair after Ston had snapped one to many of his strings.

 

He glanced up to see his mother had entered behind him. 

 

She closed the lift doors, as it started up, and then she locked it in place. Knelt down next to her son, and Spock felt her gentle fingers stroke his hair. “Spock,” said Amanda softly. 

 

Spock took in sharp short breaths, his hands shook, he lowered them from his scalp, and leaned into his mother. 

 

“This reminds me of when you were a child,” she smiled and held him close. “I’m very confused, Spock.” 

She was his mother. The most comforting thing. It made him almost feel human. 

 

He gripped onto her and shook. 

 

Amanda released a soft sigh and Spock knew what she wanted him to do. “Tell me what you’re feeling.” She knew he couldn’t. Not like this when all he wanted to do was crawl into his skin.

 

Spock opened his mouth some strangled sounds coming out, he shook, and rushed his hand to his mouth to bite on it. 

 

Amanda held him closer and gently touched his wrist. “You do not have to speak. You don’t have to hurt yourself.” A pause until she said, “show me.”

 

Spock released the grip his teeth had on his hand and pulled back, and looked to his mother. He held his hands up and placed them on her melding points as he slid his eyes shut. 

 

He didn’t know where to start. 

 

Then Kirk’s voice came over the speakers. He knew where to start.

 

There was hurt. An ache in his heart that Kirk had said those things. Said Spock felt no love, when Spock indeed had loved. He loved his mother.  He had loved Vulcan and missed it dearly. He would never see their suns again. He would never breath their air. He would never take Kirk or the Doctor there. If they had shown any interest. Why did he want to take Kirk there? Why did he want to take the Doctor there? What even was the Doctor’s full name? What had been Kirk’s full name?

 

_Attraction_. Not from his own mind. A word supplied by his mother. Attraction. Caring. He didn’t want it. Not for that annoying man who made him feel like his body was split in half, but his body was split in half. Vulcan and Human. The Human side loved. Craved. Wanted. He wanted to kiss Jim. Wanted to kiss him the vulcan way and kiss that stupid smirk off of his stupid face in the human way. He wanted to drag the Doctor into a crushing embrace and listen to that sweet drawl on repeat. His human half wanted. His vulcan half applied cold logic and also wanted. Jim wouldn’t like him. Jim doesn’t like him. The Doctor called him a hobgoblin he wouldn’t want him. He doubted Uhura would even want to be his friend after he almost lost it entirely and choked the life out of Jim’s body. How could his mother even want him-

 

He pulled back from his mother both of them gasped and they cried. “Oh honey.” She pulled him close and gave him a large hug. “Honey. They won’t hate you. I won’t hate you.” She held him and pet back his hair. She pressed her lips together in thought before smiling. “They are going to need you, Everyone on that bridge is going to need you. When you are ready will you go to them?”

 

Spock swallowed hard and took in a few deep gulping breaths. “Yes.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 18 will be Jim's POV


	18. Battle Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As first officer of the USS Enterprise Jim takes the Captain's chair and the Bridge works hard on discussing their next moves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10 chapters away from the end of this. *finger guns* I'm excited to see those bookmarks and Kudos. 
> 
> Comments are open even if you just wanna say 'KUDOS' its greatly encouraged. 
> 
> After STBG is over I'll be uploading a oneshot kind of thing and then will move onto uploading the first chapter of Into Darkness; But Gayer that has been sitting completed for a while.
> 
> I do not think there are any warnings I can give for this chapter. Maybe the general swearing that is present in this fic, but other than that I don't think I have any other warnings? 
> 
> Enjoy this chapter!

Jim only lasted so long on his feet, he fell into the captain’s chair, and rubbed his face. 

 

Chekov was spouting off some convincing mathematical calculations.

 

Jim rubbed his fingers over his eyes and exhaled deeply. To no one in particular he said, “We’d have to get aboard his ship undetected.” They had been discussing what needed to be done and Jim hoped they could get everything set with minimal loss. 

 

The whirling of a tricorder made Jim turn his head toward the sound. Bones was scanning him. “And what?” asked that southern drawl, “You can’t go in guns blazing.” He barely raised his eyes off the recorder readings and began to dig through his medical bag. 

 

Jim gently reached his fingers toward Bones and then frowned. He hesitated while Sulu said, “The math doesn’t support-” Jim pulled his hand back, slid up onto his feet, and bit back a hiss as pressure was put on his ankle. Wrappings were still so primitive when it came to actually helping and Jim shouldn’t have been on it. He found himself wondering if Spock Prime ever got a reprimand from Leonard or if James had an avoidance to doctors and medicine like Jim does. 

 

Sure Jim has gone to doctors on occasions but he had to be heavily sedated to remotely go near one. Well. He glanced at Bones again. Not all doctors.

 

Sulu and Chekov were rushing over to Jim. 

 

“Keptain Kork!” Chekov smiled wide and held his hands together. 

 

Jim turned his head to face them and took a few steps forward. He could feel Bones’s glare on the back of his head. “Yes, Chekov?” 

 

Chekov held up a finger, grabbed Jim’s arm, and dragged him over to the board he had been doing calculations on. “The fastest course from Wulcan travels through Saturn!” The boy turned his head toward Kirk. “Which means Nero will be traweling past Saturn.”

 

Jim felt McCoy slip next to him. “Get to the point, Kid,” said Bones. 

 

Jim jabbed Bones with his elbow. “Be nice.”

 

Chekov pouted and rolled his neck. He held up a hand and looked to Jim. “Like you said we need to be inwisible or Nero will destroy us.” 

 

Jim nodded and shifted slightly; Onto his bad ankle which made him inhale a deeply. 

 

Uhura stood from her station and strolled over. “So what you are saying Mr. Chekov?” asked the communications officer.

 

Chekov jumped slightly and pressed his lips together. “If Mister Scott can get us to warp four we can drop out of warp behind one of Saturn’s moons. Titan for example.” Chekov smiled. “The magnetic distortion from the planet's rings will make us inwisible to Nero's sensors.” He took in a deep breath and bounced. “As long as the drill is not actiwated we can beam aboard the enemy ship.” 

 

Uhura and Scotty’s voices chimed in at the same time, “That is very good work, Chekov.” 

“Aye that might work.” Scott and Uhura glanced at one and other. 

 

Uhura returned to her station and sat with her legs crossed. 

 

Scotty exited off the bridge to get to work. He didn’t take the turbolift.

 

Bones held his hands up. “Kid, how old are you?” Jim glanced over at Bones and decided to lean against him if only to get pressure off his ankle not because he missed the doctor’s warmth. 

 

Bones looked at Jim and wrapped an arm around him with a sigh. 

 

Chekov paused and vibrated. “I’m sewenteen, sir.”

 

Jim looked at the boy with wide eyes and blinked. Seventeen? 

 

“Oh. oh good, Jim, He is seventeen,” shouted Bones.

 

The Bridge doors opened and Jim pulled himself from Bones, he stumbled, and nearly collapsed if it weren't for Bones having fisted a hand in the back of his shirt. “That is it I’m looking at your ankle.” He’d have to get to the ankle first and Jim was not about to let that happen anytime soon. 

 

Spock was standing there with wide eyes and a hand outstretched to try and grab. The Vulcan blinked and soon that show of emotion was gone. “Mister Chekov is correct. I can confirm his telemetry. If Mister Sulu is able to maneuver us into position, I can beam aboard Nero's ship, steal back the black hole device, and if possible, bring back Captain Pike.” He stood tall with his hands behind his back. 

 

Jim straightened up and pushed at Bones before he glared at Spock. “I’m not letting you do that.” Not alone anyways.

 

Spock took in a sharp inhale. “Captain, Romulans and Vulcans share a common ancestry. Our cultural similarities will make it easier for me to access the ship's computer to locate the device.” There was a pause. “Earth is the only home I have left, let me do this.” 

 

Jim could go with him.

 

Bones growled low as if reading his mind. “Jim no.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is in Spock's POV


	19. Ignoring Regulation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still a short chapter but I've edited this one.

“Well, Mister Spock,” said Jim with a wide grin, “I’m going with you.” 

The Doctor glared daggers at Jim. 

Spock visibly frowned. Jim was clearly injured, it would be illogical for him to come along. Though, logically, Spock knew the Doctor would be able to patch that up. Spock also knew the new Captain would simply ignore regulation if he were to cite it. Spock closed his eyes for a small moment and sighed. “If I were to cite regulation you’d simply ignore it.” 

When he opened his eyes again Jim was tossing him that annoying grin with laden eyes. In a purr Jim said, “See?” 

Spock raised a brow and waited. 

“We are getting to know each other, Spock.” Jim shifted and took in a sharp inhale. 

It was logical to have Jim sit down so the Doctor could look at him. Spock shifted his shoulders and released a breath. “Jim-”

“Jim, sit down,” demanded the Doctor. 

Spock and McCoy shared one look, Spock had looked away first, and cleared his throat. 

Jim waved Doctor McCoy off. “I’m fine, Bones, It’s just a sprain,” said Jim with a wave for Spock to follow. 

Spock’s shoulders shifted and he raised a brow. 

Jim took one step and hissed low. 

“It would be logical for the doctor to look at your ankle.”

Jim repeated Spock in a somewhat higher naislier voice. Spock was certain this was what humans called mockery. 

Spock raised his brow. “I do not understand.”

Jim smiled and laughed. He turned and waved an arm as he said, “Mr. Sulu you have the chair.” Jim stepped forward and tumbled again. 

Spock did catch him this time and scooped Jim up in his arms. “Nice catch,” said Jim with a high red spreading out from his cheeks. 

The doctor patted Spock on the shoulder. “Get him into the turbolift and I can look him over before y’all beam over.”

Spock nodded and took long strides to the lift.


	20. God No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard sees Jim and Spock off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 20.
> 
> Edit: I've added some things to this chapter. General swearing

The ride in the lift was mostly uneventful as McCoy grumbled, “Whoever wrapped your ankle didn’t do a very good job.” It had been a lie. The wrapping was a primitive way to supply as a short solution. Jim had just made it worse by walking on it. Like he always did.

“They did their best,” grumbled Jim. Leonard questioned who had done it. Scotty didn’t seem like the type to have extensive medical knowledge, but he could be wrong. 

Spock was holding the now Captain like he was some blushing bride. “You made it worse by walking on it.” McCoy rolled his eyes and pulled a few hyposprays out from his pack. Most of them were allergen preventives as he didn’t want a repeat of the earlier vaccine he had given Jim. “What’s your favorite color, Jimbo?”

Jim and Spock both drew their eyebrows down. 

“Re-” McCoy injected them. Jim shouted in pain and slapped a hand over the area McCoy had injected.

“You’re a real pain in the ass, Jim,” growled McCoy. He stood with his arms crossed for a small moment glared at Spock. “So are you, Pointy eared Bastard.” 

Jim smirked just a little bit and wriggled. “You love me.” 

McCoy did not deny it. He also didn’t admit it. “He’ll be good to put down,” said McCoy to Spock. 

Spock set Jim down. “As both my parents are alive I do not understand why you call me a ‘bastard’.” 

Leonard rolled his eyes and huffed. 

When the lift stopped Jim was the first out and down the hall in a hurry.

Spock hung back a small moment and took in a deep breath. “You did not confirm or deny. I am confused.”

McCoy looked to Spock. Something squeezed in his heart and he took a deep breath. How could he explain that James T. Kirk didn’t believe ‘love yous’? “You ain’t the only one who is confused, but Jim isn’t one for I love yous.” He took a step and made his way after Jim. “Be careful with your ankle you ass,” he shouted. 

Spock followed and frowned. “I still do not understand.”

Leonard barely understood it himself he couldn’t fathom the thought of romance. He just wasn’t a romance guy, not to say he wasn’t a helpless romantic, but he just never felt he was one for romance at least not after his divorce. Maybe even before his divorce. “Don’t read into it.” Granted he also fluctuated far too often to even remotely know what his romantic orientation was.

They enter the hall to the transporter room. Jim was waiting there with a hand raked through his hair. “Thought I’d wait,” said Jim as he bounced on his feet. 

“How kind of you.” Spock tapped the door panel and the doors opened. 

Jim rushed in with a big grin. “Scotty!”

Mister Scott jumped slightly and smiled wide. “Aye we just saw one and other.” He had quirked a brow. 

McCoy grumbled and crossed his arms. “He greets everyone he knows like that.”

“I have not.” A glance at Spock gave McCoy the impression the Hobgoblin might have actually been hurt by that knowledge. 

McCoy raised a brow at him. 

“How we doing on the Nero situation?” asked Jim as he gave Scotty a big hug like they had been thick as thieves in some other life. 

Scotty patted Jim’s back and grinned wide as he pulled away. “We are in position.” 

“Good. Good.” Jim stepped onto the transporter pad, and pulled out his communicator. “Mr. Sulu,” he pressed his lips together and looked at McCoy. “If at any time you feel you have a tactical advantage,” McCoy frowned and watched as Spock climbed up onto the transporter pad, “Even if we are still on that ship. You fire weapons.” Jim’s eyes made contact with Leonard’s and something looked almost sad in them. “That is an order. Otherwise we will contact the enterprise to beam up.” 

A rock lodged itself in McCoy’s stomach. Encourage him to come back, said a voice deep in McCoy’s mind. You may never have another chance. There will never be an appropriate time just do it. 

Leonard charged forward, fisted a hand in Jim’s shirt with a growl, and pulled Jim in. Their lips made contact in the most tooth clanking way. 

Jim made a noise as McCoy gave him a rather rough kiss that was far more teeth than anything. “Len-”

McCoy growled low as he pulled back. “You better not fucking die.” He felt pride swell as Jim looked almost dazed. 

Spock made a small noise to the side, much like a clearing of the throat, but Leonard looked at him. “You want a goodbye kiss too you, Hobgoblin?” 

Scotty cleared his throat. “I don’t think you really have the time for this.” 

“Guess you’ll have to come back for one, Pointy eared Bastard,” growled McCoy as he gave a small smirk and backed away from the transporter. 

Jim cleared his throat. Leonard loved that his face was bright red as he said, “Energize.”

McCoy and Scotty were alone in the Transporter room now. “Do I get a kiss?” asked the Engineer’s voice. 

McCoy turned his head and scowled at him. “God, No.”


	21. Don't Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock and Jim have a small moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 21 *finger guns*
> 
> Some minor changes to this chapter

“I’ll cover you.” Jim held up his phaser with a smile and a tilt of his head.

Spock wouldn't admit it, but Jim looked attractive with his hair a mess and sweat rolling down his skin. He couldn't focus on that right now; however, he could will the thoughts away for a later meditation. 

He crouched in front of an injured Romulan. They needed to find this black hole device Jim was talking about, as well as Captain Pike. Spock knew of a way to do that. “You are quite certain you will be able to cover me?” asked Spock without looking up at Jim.

A phaser shot past his head and he whipped his head up to see a Romulan fall. “Yeah.” 

Spock looked up to Jim with a raised brow. 

That stupid smirk crawled back up onto Jim’s face. “Gotta get that kiss from, Leonard, right?”

Spock flushed green before connecting his hand to the melding point on the Romulan.

Once he found what he was looking for he pulled back and looked at Jim. “I’ve found the device as well as Captain Pike.”

“Lead the way.” Jim held out a hand to Spock with a wide grin.

Spock stared at it and raised a brow. “You are aware of Vulcan hands?”

Spock could admit to himself that it was adorable that Jim’s eyes darted from Spock to his hand. A red flush as he pulled the hand back and rubbed his head with it. Jim was very expressive. “So… when I grabbed your hand earlier to keep myself up… we basically made out in front of a bunch of vulcans and your parents?”

Spock had forgotten about that moment and cleared his throat as he stood. Another thing he had filed away for meditation. “Let us save the earth, Captain, and talk about this later.”

Jim nodded fast and patted Spock’s back. “You betcha.”

Spock lead the way and furrowed his brow when they reached the device. A ship like none he has ever seen before. It looked a lot more advanced than he had thought it would. “I did not take into account of this vessel being more advanced-” He turned to look at Jim.

The human had been chewing on his lower lip while a computerised voice spoke above. “Voice print and face recognition analysis enabled. Welcome back, Ambassador Spock.”

Jim glanced away quickly and Spock raised a brow. “Wow, so weird,” laughed Jim, he turned to walk down a shallow corridor that lead to the cockpit of the ship.

Spock narrowed his eyes as he followed. Annoying that Jim was keeping secrets, but Jim’s quite flustered appearance made up for that trickle of annoyance. 

The human rock on his toes and chew his lip further. 

That rather annoying bubbling of emotion stirred in Spock’s core. “Computer, what is your manufacturing origin?”

The voice chimed, “Stardate twenty-three eighty-seven. Commissioned by the Vulcan Science Academy.”

Jim took in a deep breath and put an arm around Spock’s shoulders. “Funny.”

“It appears you’ve been hiding information,” said Spock with a tilt of his head.

Jim leaned in and looked up at Spock. “Can you fly this thing or not?”

Spock gently placed his thumb on Kirk’s lower lip. He wasn’t sure why he was doing it. “It appears I have already.”

He felt Jim swallow and those lips curved into a smile as he pulled away from Spock.

Spock frowned at this. He picked up the slightest hint of anxiety.

Jim did not go far though, leaned slightly against the wall of the ship, and breathed in deeply. “Don’t die?”

Spock failed to see why Jim would say such a thing. The Doctor had said that earlier. Perhaps it was a terran inside joke? Or Jim and the Doctor really did not want to see either die. Did Jim not want to see him die? “The likelihood of our plan succeeding is less than point three percent.” a pause. “I can make no promises.”

Jim groaned and rolled his shoulders. “Just don’t die, Spock. Our plan will work okay?” he patted Spock on the shoulder once more before turning to exit the craft.

Spock felt something bubble up from his stomach to his mouth. “In the event that I do not return,” Spock watched as Jim paused and turned. Maybe his voice had been just a little above what he had wanted it to be. He had never been one for volume control. “I would…”

Jim walked closer and slid his arms around Spock’s shoulders, and ducked his head into Spock’s chest. This had his heart hammering hard against his side. “You’ll make it back. We will make it back.”

Spock felt something lodge in his throat at Jim’s voice. It had cracked. “Jim?” Spock’s voice was soft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter has some violence. Canon Violence stuff.


	22. Don't Die x2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim's brain works into overdrive this close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some violence, Canon typical.
> 
> I enjoy my edits for this chapter and Very much had to re-watch the movie because it's actually been a while.

Jim was all for optimism. Everything working out. Everyone being happy. Sometimes he just couldn’t help it when the not so optimistic thoughts crept up into his head. 

Here pressed against Spock’s warm chest with the thought of not making it back to the Enterprise. Back to Bones. Hell having a conversation about attraction with either of the two men he seemed to be finding a creeping pull to. Like Jim was a black hole and they were the nearest planets. 

Jim squeezed Spock a little and inhaled sharply or maybe he was the sun. 

Thoughts for another time. “Jim,” said Spock, softly, and there was a thumb against his lips again. 

He looked up at Spock, softer brown eyes gazed down at him, Jim took in a sharp breath, pulled back, keeping both his hands on Spock’s shoulders, and smiled. “It’s going to work, Spock.” 

Jim saw the inhale the Vulcan took. The green tinge on his cheeks. 

Jim took in his own breath and pulled back completely. He made a point to drag his fingers along Spock’s hands as he backed away further out of the ship. 

“Don’t die, Jim,” said Spock with a small frown.

Jim laughed at that. He had too much to live up to. Too much to do. “I’ll try not to.” He rushed out of the small ship. “Good luck,” He called back at Spock. 

“Vulcans do not believe in luck,” called Spock. 

“Good luck anyways,” said Jim with the widest grin, his feet fell against the floor hard as he rushed out, and looked back as Spock took off. 

He didn't stand there long. He needed to find Pike and needed to get out of there. He made his way out of the cargo bay knees bent slightly, and with his phaser held out below as he searched. 

The Romulan ship was a maze of twists, turns, and drops. As he twisted around a cone shaped beam he came to stand in a mostly open area that bent off in various directions. 

Jim took in a deep breath and bit his lower lip. He looked this way and that way and finally decided to go right hoping he wouldn't circle back to the same spot. 

That is when he saw the figure there shadowed and standing on a platform… staring Jim down with eyebrows that were even more angled than Spock’s. 

It was Nero. 

Jim raised his phaser, arms stiff, and breath caught in his chest. “Nero, order your men to disable the drill or I wil-” 

Jim released a shout and crumpled away with the hit from his right. His body slid against the floor and his phaser was gone. He rolled onto his back and glared up. 

Dense foot falls barreled toward him and then Nero said, “I know your face from Earth’s history.” 

Jim felt a quip on the tip of his tongue but was jerked up by the shoulders of his shirt. He grabbed onto Nero’s arms and made a small noise. 

Nero threw him and Jim went sliding once again closer to the edge of the suspended walkways. 

Jim twisted onto his side, shirt riding up, and legs bent. He told himself he'd kick Nero if he got close, but he was really just wanting to catch his breath. 

Nero towered over him and Jim’s kicks and struggles did little to keep the Romulan from wrapping a hand around his throat and lifting him up to punch the crap out of him. 

There was pain and loud KERREK noises as Nero punched and tossed Jim onto his elbows and knees. 

Jim wheezed and tried to lift himself up. 

Nero grabbed him by the back of his shirt. 

Jim got one punch in before Nero punched him so hard he went flying and rolling to keep the impact from hurting too much. God he was so tired. 

Nero was on him in an instant, fingers curled around Jim’s neck, as Jim swatted, and bucked to get out from under the dense romulan. 

“James T. Kirk was considered to be a great man,” growled Nero’s low voice. “He went on to captain the U.S.S. Enterprise.” 

Jim weakly smacked at Nero as air was becoming thin. 

“But that was another life,” the pressure built around his neck, “A life I will deprive you of just like I did your father.” 

Jim narrowed his eyes and wanted to growl. 

Suddenly there was a filtered voice over the comms of Nero’s ship, and the pressure was gone. 

Jim could breath and Nero was screaming. Jim wanted to make a mental note to take Spock out for Pizza or have a conversation about attraction. 

Jim didn't sit up until he was sure Nero was gone, but he wasn't alone and stared at Ayel. “Fuck,” said Jim, horse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Uhura's POV


	23. Small Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhura visits Leonard down in the transporter room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another short chapter and we have at least 5 chapters left of this fic? Which I'm going to try and space out. 
> 
> But this is another short chapter. 
> 
> Happy-ish platonic fun times because in this house we love and appreciate our friends.
> 
> Edits to the beginning of this chapter.

Uhura heaved a sigh as she entered the transporter room, Scotty was there dry as a bone with someone hovering over his every move. “Doctor McCoy,” said Uhura.

Leonard had jumped and backed away from Scotty’s station. “Shouldn’t you be on the bridge?” asked Leonard as he strolled over to the wall and sank down. He looked stiff and all too twitchy. 

Uhura raised a brow and sank down next to him. “Shouldn’t you be in medical?”

Uhura wished she had a camera to capture the high rise of red on Leonard’s face. 

Leonard didn’t answer her just fixed his eyes on the transporter pad. 

Uhura sighed again and rolled her head to catch Scotty’s eyes. 

The engineer turned quickly.

“What is the saying?” asked Uhura as she tilted her head and rested a hand on Leonard’s shoulder. “A watched pot never boils?”

Scotty cleared his throat and Uhura looked over at him. “Aye,” said the engineer quickly. He averted his eyes and Uhura grinned to herself. 

Leonard shifted against the wall and sighed heavily. “I kissed, Jim.”

Uhura looked back to McCoy and raised a brow. She sighed and wrapped an arm around Leonard. She thought about everything that had happened in that time of being on the enterprise. There wasn’t a time for a breath. Wasn’t a time where Jim wasn’t putting himself in danger. Even back at the academy Jim was a danger. 

Uhura smiled at him. “Tell me about those famous McCoy baked beans, Tell me about anything,” she leaned her head against his arm and held him close. “Tell me about the things that make you happy.”

“You’re trying to distract me,” grumbled McCoy, but Uhura saw the small upturn of his lips. 

“Maybe I am.” She smiled and sighed. “I kissed my best friend once.” She dated him too for a short period of time, but many things got in the way. 

McCoy visibly swallowed. “It wasn’t an appropriate time.” 

Scotty cleared his throat again. “My mother once told me, There is never an appropriate time.” 

Uhura and McCoy looked to him with raised brows. 

“I canna’ help listening when ye’ve been moping around like a wee school girl,” said Scotty with a wave of his hands. 

Uhura sighed and looked to McCoy. “I have to get back to the bridge.” 

McCoy grumbled and waved her off. “Do your damn best up there.”

She smiled at him and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter will be in Jim's POV and I apparently take a crack at writing another fight.


	24. What Jim does Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of course nothing could be easy when trying to take a ship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four chapters away from the end of this fic. 
> 
> There are actually 463ish words to this chapter haha. I think I said it was going to be 399 words? but yeah.

“Look we can work something out here.” Jim held his hands up and stared at the Romulan. Jim recalled his name to be Ayel or that is what Nero had called him. 

Ayel wasn’t one for talking apparently and Jim took a few body blows. 

Jim took a knee to the stomach and he let out a noise. “Not a talker?” asked Jim, breathless. 

Ayel simply let out a laugh, cold, and ripped Jim up by his shirt. 

Jim gasped and scrambled against Ayel. He made an attempt to jump away, but was grabbed by the neck. “You’re even weaker than I expected.” 

No shit. He is a human. It’s not like humans are as strong as Romulans.

Jim gasped. Clawed. Scrambled his hands against Ayel with the burning thought that he needed to get away. “I-” he gasped out his fingers meeting metal. His eyes went wide. Ayel’s gun. 

“You can’t even speak,” purred Ayel. 

Jim was pulled closer, he gripped the metal object and glared. His voice was raspy and weak. “I’ve got your gun.” 

He found it sickening as Ayel widened his gaze as his grip slacked and he dropped dead.

Jim fell to his knees and took in some deep breaths. The smell of copper wafted up from the corpse and he wanted to throw up. He instead looked at Ayel’s body before standing, he took the gun, and then left the area. 

Jim had to think, had to clear his head, focus, make his hands STOP shaking. Force the air down his sore throat and into his lungs. Where would they have put Pike? A torture room most likely. Where would a torture room be on a ship? He leaned against a wall and blinked. 

He wondered how Spock was doing.

Wondered if Bones was a nervous wreck. Bones was probably talking to himself, the southerner tended to do that, and Jim found it cute in a way. 

Jim smiled to himself. 

Like how he found it cute that Len’s snoring shook the whole apartment. He shook his head and put a hand in front of him. “Focus, Kirk.” speaking of talking to oneself. “Find Pike. Get beamed up… Hopefully Spock disables the drill.” Give Spock the biggest kiss of his life. Time willing and if plans go accordingly. “Focus!” Maybe go out for Pizza. He groaned at his own thoughts. “Focus, Kirk!” Invite Spock over to the apartment. Spend time with Spock and Leonard.

He groaned, took in a sharp breath and pressed himself tighter against the wall. There was a noise of a door opening and closing. Some footsteps. He released his breath when he heard another door open and close. 

“Pike,” whispered Jim. He pushed off the wall, picked a direction, and sprinted.


	25. Deal with it Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard is a doctor not a match maker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy It's another short chapter. A little over 300 words but yeah. 
> 
> I'm real exhausted socially because apparently going out of the house doesn't make me feel energized at all. Just tired.

Leonard sighed heavily and glanced at Scotty. “I might give you a kiss if you get them back in one piece.” 

Scotty had a laugh at that. “What about giving me Uhura’s number?”

Leonard raised a brow. Uhura wasn’t one to like being set up on dates. Leonard wasn’t even sure what or who Uhura was into. “I’m a doctor, not a match maker.” Leonard tilted his head and stared back at the transporter pad. 

Silence had fallen for a few moments and he sighed heavily again before he asked, “How about you come out for pizza with us if we don’t die?” 

“Sounds like a plan,” said the engineer. 

“Enterprise now!” 

McCoy stood up quickly at Jim’s voice through the speakers of the transporter panel. The room was filled with blips, whirring, and the sounds of Scotty working on the panel to get them aboard. “Nice timing, Scotty,” said Jim. 

Scotty made some comment in response but Mccoy could only feel the rush of life being sucked back into his body at the sight of Jim. Spock was there too but McCoy was still iffy on what he wanted out of the Vulcan.

But God dammit there was Jim. Messy and busted up Jim. Leonard knew Jim would not let him get fussy over the injuries. 

“JIM!” McCoy smiled wide and rushed forward. 

Jim’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree that caught on fire and McCoy could swear he imagined some exclamation points above Jim’s head. “BONES!” 

There was one issue with Jim rushing to him. The injured Pike, who McCoy quickly slid an arm up under, and his doctor brain engaged. “I’ve got him.” McCoy took Pike from Jim and bit his lower lip. “I’ll get him looked at.” That wasn’t exactly how he wanted to greet Jim again. 

McCoy took a deep breath and patted Jim’s back. “Good to see you.” 

Jim smiled and then rushed over to Spock who looked like he would jump out of his skin. “Bridge. We gotta get to the bridge.” 

McCoy felt his stomach sink. 

Pike grunted and McCoy glanced at the wounded man. The elder raised a brow and McCoy cleared his throat. “Right. Medical bay.” He could deal with the Jim situation later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter is longer a little over 700 words for next chapter. Also a Jim POV.


	26. Job Well Done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are two chapters away from the end of this fic. So here is chapter 26.

Jim kicked himself and glanced over at Spock as they entered the Bridge. He’d just slid by Bones. There just wasn’t time. Wasn’t enough time. They needed to deal with Nero’s ship. Then. Then there would be enough time to shower the Doctor with affection. Shower Spock with affection. Shower everyone with affection. 

Everyone had been looking at him for some small amount of time. “Hail them now,” said Jim. He hoped there hadn’t been more to whatever he missed. He needed to focus on this moment. 

Uhura pressed some buttons. “Of course.”

Nero showed on the screen and Jim could feel Spock’s body stiffen. The ship and black hole behind his image. Jim took a deep breath and stood tall. “This is Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise.” 

Nero narrowed his eyes. 

Jim wanted to show compassion. Show humanity could be kind. “Your ship is compromised. Your too close to the singularity to provide assistance, which we will provide.”

There was a breath against his ear and Spock’s voice filled it in a hushed tone. “What are you doing, Captain?” 

Jim turned to look at the Vulcan and swallowed. Their faces were pretty close together and he suddenly remembered he wanted to kiss Spock. “Logic, Spock, I thought you’d like it.”

Spock was suddenly growled, “I do not.” It sent a shiver up Jim’s spine. “Not this time.” The fire that burned behind those brown eyes made Jim’s knees feel weak.

Nero gave a sharp laugh. 

Jim turned his head. 

“I would rather suffer the end of Romulus a thousand times,” Nero scowled. “I’d rather die than accept your help, James T. Kirk.”

Jim let out a heavy breath then shrugged. “Don’t say I didn’t give you an option,” he turned to look at Sulu and Chekov. “Arm phasers and give him everything we got.” 

Spock and Jim broke off

“Yes, Sir,” said Chekov and Sulu in unison. 

Jim plopped into the captain’s chair as the phasers fired on the ship. Jim took a deep breath as Nero’s ship got sucked into the black hole. “Warp us out of here, Mr. Sulu.” Jim sighed. “Take us home.”

“Yes, Sir,” said Sulu. 

Just when Jim thought he could relax he noted they were stationary, “Why aren’t we at warp?”

Chekov took in a deep breath and looked back at Jim. “We are, Sir.” 

Jim raked a hand through his hair and pressed a button on the chair. “Kirk to engineering. Scotty you gotta get us outta this.”

Scotty’s voice crackled and popped over the comm. “What exactly do you think I’m doing down here, Captain?” Jim didn’t mind it that much and took in a deep breath. “We’re caught in the gravity well.”

Jim felt panic bubbling up in his throat and tried to make his voice as authoritative as possible. “Get us to maximum warp, Scotty.” 

Scotty screamed into the comm. “I’m doing all I can!” 

There was the crackling sound of metal being stretched. “What about ejecting the warp core?” Jim’s fingers twitched and he grit his teeth. “And detonating it? Would it give us enough push to get out of here?” 

There is a short pause. “That might work, but I cannae promise anything!”

Jim could hear Uhura, “He is more than just a pretty face, Spock.” Weather she meant to say it loud enough for him to hear or not. 

“Just do it,” said Jim. He leaned his head back in the chair and took in a deep breath. “Brace yourselves.” 

There was some shaking and turbulence as the warp core detonated outside of the ship. “Good thinking, Jim,” said Scotty over the comm. 

Jim felt his body drag down, when he spoke into the comm his voice was all to lethargic, and he found he could barely form any cohesive sentence. “Home?” 

Scotty laughed. “With what we just did?” a pause. “Three weeks max. Maybe three days if we get everyone moving fast enough.”

Jim opened his eyes and looked to Uhura. “C-contact Starfleet let ‘em know position?”

Uhura nodded like she remotely understood what Jim was even saying and turned in her chair. “Of course, Captain.” Jim didn’t even know what he was saying.

Jim found his body sank like cement. “Mister Spock?”

He could almost hear Spock stand up tall. “Yes, Captain?”

Jim was silent for a few moments before he even remotely tried to get up, he found Spock was at his side as soon as he started to sway. “We… rooms for crew.” 

“Take him to sick bay, Spock,” Jim supplied Uhura’s voice. 

He released a sigh and sank into the Vulcan.


	27. Promises of Dates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 27 and almost done here. There are 400 or so words here. it short.

Spock frowned as he carried the slumbering Jim down to sick bay. Maybe he wasn’t slumbering so much as mumbling about incoherent subjects. That thought brought up the memory of a drunk second year cadet. That was a thought for another day. Another mess. Another file to organize.

A blonde nurse jumped when Spock entered the doors. 

Before they could speak Spock asked, “Is Doctor McCoy available?” 

The nurse pressed their lips together and held their head high. “Doctor McCoy,” they called, “I think an idiot is here for you.” They so much as smirked. “Two idiots.”

There was some very loud garbled noises as the Doctor emerged from some off to the side room. Spock watched as the southern man stripped of his gloves and glared at the warm lump of Jim.

Who was definitely not asleep as Spock had once thought because the acting Captain gave a shrill noise and screamed, “‘ones!” and some other garbled words; Spock was sure he caught his own name within them.

The nurse had flinched back. “I’ll check on Captain Pike,” said the nurse as she walked away. 

The Doctor exhaled a sigh, and shuffled over. “Thank you, Christine.”

“No problem, Doctor.”

“The Captain appears to have exhausted himself,” said Spock.

McCoy gave him a small smile and placed a hand on Jim’s face. 

Jim so much as let out a squeal. “‘M ‘ry ‘ones.” Jim was quite adorable like this, amused Spock. 

McCoy rolled his eyes. “Kid tends to do that. Shoulda seen him with his mother-” 

Spock jumped slightly. His mother! He had been wrapped up in Jim, Nero’s ship, and the Doctor he had forgotten to check in with his parents. “If you excuse me, Leonard, I am regretting that I have forgotten about my mother and Father.” He didn’t think as he leaned in and affectionately headbutted the Doctor’s face. Light, like a cat. 

McCoy seemed to raise an eyebrow and lower his jaw. 

Jim made some noise of being squished between McCoy and Spock. 

With a green blush Spock handed Jim over to McCoy and cleared his throat. “We will be returning to earth at a maximum of three weeks and a minimum of three days. I would… like to talk to you and Jim on Earth.”

McCoy swallowed as Jim wrapped heavy arms around his neck. “I think… that is okay?” a pause. Spock wondered what the Doctor would say. “I think we should get some food together sometime.”

“A date?” Spock shifted on his feet.

Leonard almost smiled. “I think we should have a lot of dates.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's safe to say the last chapter of this fic is my favorite chapter tbh.


	28. A fitting End ???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter tbh and I'll upload a small short fic after this then move onto idbg. 
> 
> Which I promise has a lot longer chapters.

Hanger one had been bustling and moving with the long awaited appearance of the Enterprise. He found he was also awaiting some unknown moment in this reality. He thought how unfair it was for Jim to be attractive in two realities. Wondered if this universe’s Leonard was just as attractive as his Leonard. 

“Father,” his own voice made him straighten his back and turn. 

The look on his younger face had brought some nostalgia. Memories of his younger years of a different time. “I am not our father.” Spock Prime heaved a sigh and tilted his head. 

Young Spock stood there with confusion deep in his brown eyes. 

“There are very few Vulcan left… We cannot ignore one and other for long,” Prime smiled slightly at his younger self. 

Prime could see the gears turning. The pieces clicked into place. “You… sent Kirk aboard.” Prime didn’t even nod as the young Vulcan stepped forward with childhood delight shining in his eyes. “Why send him when you could have explained the truth?” 

Prime shifted on his feet and let out a breath. How could he explain that James T. Kirk would be someone who meant the world to them both? “You need one and other,” he settled on, “I could not deprive you of the revelation of all that you could accomplish together.” Of the love you’d share. The campfire songs. The shared touches. A friendship that had truly been more. All of that, this Spock had to look forward to. “Of a friendship, that would define you both, in ways you cannot yet realize.”

His younger self frowned. “I think I understand.” Maybe those moments were already happening. “But how was he able to keep your secret?”

Prime almost laughed. “He inferred that universe-ending paradoxes would ensue should he break his promise.”

His younger self raised a brow. “You lied?”

Prime did laugh and touched his hands together, a habit he found saddening for a moment, “I… well I implied.”

Young Spock swallowed and shifted on his feet. “A gamble?”

Prime pressed his lips together in thought. A gamble. A bluff. A game of poker. “An act of faith. One I hope that you will repeat in the future at Starfleet.” That had been the better choice of words. 

His younger self mirrored the action of pressing his lips together, something flashed in his eyes, a sadness, and Prime frowned. “In the face of extinction, it is only logical I resign my Starfleet commission and help rebuild our race.” No. 

No his younger self could not leave Starfleet. Could not deprive himself of days with Jim. Of afternoons with Leonard. Of Nights with them both. Should not deprive himself of the affections of a relationship with the two most important people. “Yet, you can be in two places at once. I urge you to remain in Starfleet.” Chess with Jim. Poker with Leonard. Worrying greyness into Leonard’s hair. “I have already located a suitable planet on which to establish a Vulcan colony.” He placed his hands on either side of the young Vulcan. Campfires, Enclosed Cabins, whisky beans, and longing stares. “Spock, in this case,” Hanukkah with Jim’s mother, Christmases with Leonard’s daughter, Sneaking out of all too crowded mandatory New Years events just to escape to an even louder crazier event on the Enterprise, “do yourself a favor. Put aside logic. Do what feels right.” Fighting over who turned the temperature up or down two degrees, his older brother bringing up past pains, getting locked in many cells, A bond with them both, “Since my customary farewell would appear oddly self-serving, I shall simply say,” the sorrow of losing a bondmate and the joys of growing ancient with the other. 

“SPOCK! WE’RE GONNA GET PIZZA WITH UHURA AND THE HOT NURSE-” 

“DAMMIT JIM!” yelled Leonard but was followed by an even quieter, “Don’t forget Scotty is coming.” 

Prime glanced over at Jim who was waving his arms wildly with a big grin on his face as Leonard tried to pull him back from interrupting the conversation. He smiled and looked at his younger self. “Good Luck.” Unfair that they were this attractive in TWO universes. 

Younger Spock pulled away and jumped in his skin. “I do not believe in luck.” The young Vulcan strolled over to the other two, Jim wrapped his arms around Spock’s shoulders and brought him down for a soft kiss. Prime had to chuckle as Leonard clearly rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. Until Jim pulled the medical officer in with a big grin.

Prime felt his heart skip a beat and he mused, “Jim can make even a half Vulcan believe in luck.” and we make him believe in miracles. 

END∞

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP there it is.


End file.
